The rising levels of traffic congestion in many big cities around the world can cause the decline in the quality of life in cities. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve them?
Traffic
jams in big cities
can have an imperative impact towards quality of life. Although
it is easy to identify the root causes of that problem, some solutions can also
be offered to address it.
The first reason is a high tendency to use
private vehicles
because of the high mobility that is
needed, especially among workers in big cities
. I have seen this
phenomenon in metropolitan cities
like Jakarta
, Bandung, or Surabaya, where people
must run errands immediately from one place to another. Obviously, using scheduled public transportations
is not the solution since they must wait for a long time, Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
therefore
people
decide to use
private vehicles
. Another one is the undeniable fact that public transportations
can cost a lot of money compared to when Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
people
take their own vehicles
. Take, for example
, in Surakarta, the cost for
using a public bus to go round-trip with 7 Change preposition
of
kilometres
distance is $1.50, which is almost doubled compared to when Correct your spelling
7-kilometre
people
use
their own motorcycle
. The Fix the agreement mistake
motorcycles
last
reason is due to
the low level of security
. In Jakarta
, for example
, women often receive sexual assault from irresponsible strangers or
negative Correct word choice
and
tragedy
like thief Fix the agreement mistake
tragedies
also
prevalently occurs
in subways, which Correct subject-verb agreement
occur
causing
Wrong verb form
causes
people
avoid to take
public Wrong verb form
taking
transportations
. Those aforementioned conditions increase Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
traffic
congestion
, eventually, in my country.
Accordingly
, there are some practical solutions that can be done to overcome the traffic
congestion
issue. The first one is to impose a ‘public transportation day’ in some critical regions. This
policy has been implemented by the ex-governor of Jakarta
, Mr. Basuki Tjahja Purnama, back then
in 2019. He made Jakarta
people
use
public transportations
on Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
the
Correct article usage
apply
even
dates, resulting in Correct your spelling
event
the
decreasing level of Correct article usage
a
traffic
mass as well as
improvement
in air quality. Correct article usage
an improvement
Next,
subsidising public transport with public taxes to decrease the tariff, has also
been seen as an effective way to decrease the congestion
level, which has been practically done in some cities
in Indonesia, including my hometown. Last
, to
assign some Fix the infinitive
apply
security
personnel in
each public Change preposition
to
transportations
, in order to increase Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
security
levels; thus
, it can alleviate
passengers from receiving or experiencing unwanted tragedies.
In conclusion, the primary cause of Verb problem
prevent
traffic
congestion
is because
Correct word choice
that
people
prefer to use
their private vehicles
due to
several reasons such
as people
’s high mobility, high public transportation’s
costs and Change noun form
transportation
low
Add a hyphen
low-security
security
levels while
being public’s passengers. However
, it can be addressed by imposing special regulations to use
public transportations
for a day and a lower public Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
transport’s
fare, until assigning Change noun form
transport
security
officers to make people
feel secure.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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coherence cohesion
Aim for a balanced sentence length to enhance readability. Some sentences are slightly long and could be split for clarity, such as in the paragraph discussing the use of private vehicles.
task achievement
Be mindful of minor grammatical errors and phrasing. For example, 'causing people avoid' should be 'causing people to avoid.' These are not major issues but fixing them will ensure fluidity.
task achievement
You have clearly identified and elaborated on the causes of traffic congestion, showcasing a thorough understanding of the problem.
task achievement
You provided specific examples, such as referencing various cities, to support your points. This specificity strengthens your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a logical flow from the introduction through to the conclusion, making it easy to follow your train of thought.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main ideas and proposed solutions, leaving a strong final impression.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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