IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors who came to the uk for different purposes between 1989 and 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors who came to the uk for different purposes between 1989 and 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph
illustates
Correct your spelling
illustrates
 the number of foreign
visitors
Use synonyms
 who came to the UK for business,
holiday
Use synonyms
, and meeting friends and relatives over the 10 years period by 1989. The figures are given in millions.
Overall
Linking Words
 it can be seen that all figures were downward trends
exept
Correct your spelling
except
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the holiday's
show examples
holiday's
Change noun form
holiday
show examples
figure
Use synonyms
. Looking first at
upward
Add an article
the upward
show examples
 trend, the number of
visitors
Use synonyms
 who came for
Use synonyms
holiday
Correct article usage
a holiday
show examples
stated
Correct your spelling
started
show examples
 at approximately 6.5 in 1989. Following that,
visitors
Use synonyms
 for
holiday
Use synonyms
 soared and hit the highest point of 9 between 1993 and 1998.
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, there was
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 exponential decrease in
Use synonyms
holiday's
Change noun form
holiday
show examples
visitors
Use synonyms
 at around 6.5 before increased significantly to 9 in 2009. Moving on to
upward
Add an article
the upward
show examples
 trend, the
figure
Use synonyms
 for business
visitors
Use synonyms
 stood at 5 and
then
Linking Words
 it fluctuated for a decade. Meanwhile, the number of
visitors
Use synonyms
 who came
for meeting
Change preposition
to meet
show examples
 friends and relatives began at above 3 before rocketing and reaching
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 peak of 7 by 1889 to 2007.
Finally
Linking Words
, there was a drop negligible in
Use synonyms
figure
Add an article
the figure
show examples
 for
meeting
Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
show examples
,
bring
Wrong verb form
bringing
show examples
 the
figure
Use synonyms
 down to 6 in 2009.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, holiday, figure with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 3 times.
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