IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Governments and big companies should work together to reverse environmental damage, rather than expecting individuals to take responsibility. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#governments #companies #work #damage #individuals #responsibility
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Governments and huge companies ought to cooperate at work to reduce environmental detrimental better than expecting people to take responsibility.
From
Change the preposition
In
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 my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 essay
agree
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agrees
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 with the first statement
due to
Linking Words
 the probability that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
governments and companies can
change
Use synonyms
 the
environment
Use synonyms
 easily,
the
Correct word choice
and the
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 nations and establishments have
high
Add an article
a high
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 effect on residents' awareness.
Firstly
Linking Words
, if the countries and organizations work together,
hence
Linking Words
, they will
change
Use synonyms
 the
environment
Use synonyms
 and the infrastructure easily because of the high public expenditure on the cities,
moreover
Linking Words
, the high technology will be used to decrease carbon emissions. To illustrate,
a
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in a
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study conducted a decade ago, companies and
government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
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which were
collaborate
Wrong verb form
collaborated
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, they success
at
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in
show examples
 reducing
the
Correct article usage
apply
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carbon because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
capabilities
such
Linking Words
 as money and workforce, owing to
this
Linking Words
, they
be
Wrong verb form
are
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 capable
to
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of changing
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change
Use synonyms
 the buildings in cities in little time and it had all the aspects for helping the
environment
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 like engines work with electricity
Secondly
Linking Words
, nations and establishments have superior competence in changing citizens'
mindset
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mindsets
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 by doing advertisements
in
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on
show examples
 televisions, Social Media and
advertisements
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advertisement
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 signs on the streets,
in addition
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,
government
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the government
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 can do some classes in educational areas to raise adolescents' thinking.
For instance
Linking Words
, a book established 5 years ago, talked about how to
change
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 individuals thinking, it talked about doing plenty of advertisements could convince anybody
switch
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to switch
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 to the other ideas.
To sum up
Linking Words
, countries and organizations can do impressive factors on
Use synonyms
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 because of the high position they have, changing the constructions to help the
environment
Use synonyms
 and awareness campaigns, these are
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 examples of the high position.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your arguments are clearly linked from sentence to sentence and paragraph to paragraph.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or statistics to back up your claims, enhancing the argument's persuasiveness.
task achievement
Work on sentence structure and grammar to express ideas more clearly.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear opinion supporting the view outlined in the statement.
coherence cohesion
A suitable introduction and conclusion frame the essay well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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