IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The line graph below gives information about the number of visitors to three London museums between June and September 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph below gives information about the number of visitors to three London museums between June and September 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#line #information #visitors #three #london #museums #june #september #summarise #features #comparisons
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The line graph provides key information about the amounts of guests in various London museums during summer vacations in 2013.The unit is measured in thousands of visitors.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that the
last
Linking Words
 month witnessed
Correct article usage
a sharply
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sharply
Change the word
sharp
show examples
 increase in all museums.
In addition
Linking Words
,
British
Correct article usage
the British
show examples
Museum
Use synonyms
 has the highest number of guests
thought
Correct your spelling
throughout
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 the vacation ,
whereas
Linking Words
Science
Correct article usage
the Science
show examples
Museum
Use synonyms
was
Verb problem
has
show examples
 the lowest one.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown,
National
Correct article usage
the National
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 History
Museum
Use synonyms
 and British
Museum
Use synonyms
 started from
closes
Replace the word
close
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 figures in June.
While
Linking Words
 the British climbed 150 thousand in July
then
Linking Words
 dropped until reached 500 thousand. National History
Museum
Use synonyms
 decreased from 550 to 380
then
Linking Words
 increased slightly to 390.
Linking Words
Finally
Add a comma
Finally,
show examples
 both of them increased
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 amount. In terms of the red line,
firstly
Linking Words
 achieved 400000.
Linking Words
Secondly
Add a comma
Secondly,
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 it declined to 37000 visitors.
Thirdly
Linking Words
 it continues
decreased
Change the verb form
to decrease
show examples
 to 300000.As all in
September
Add a comma
September,
show examples
 it rose 150 thousand
Submitted by gral33jmi on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words museum with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amounts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • line graph
  • illustrates
  • number of visitors
  • museums
  • from June to September 2013
  • the British Museum
  • the Natural History Museum
  • the Science Museum
  • overall trend
  • attracted
  • the most visitors
  • fewest visitors
  • peak
  • experienced fluctuations
  • decline
  • highlight
  • dominance
  • consistent decline
  • minor resurgence
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