IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below gives information about the number of people who smoked cigarettes in the UK between 2011 and 2021. айша Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about the number of people who smoked cigarettes in the UK between 2011 and 2021. айша Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart illustrates data
the
Change preposition
on the
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 amount of individuals who smoked cigarettes in Britain during the
years
Use synonyms
 2011 to 2021.
Overall
Linking Words
,it is evident that men smoked more cigarettes per year than
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
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 over 10
years
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,in both
genders
Add a comma
genders,
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 the number of cigarettes smoked
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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decreased throughout the period. From 2011 to 2015,men and
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
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was dramatically decrease
Change the verb form
was dramatically decreased
was dramatically decreasing
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.In 2011, the number of men who smoked was around 4
million
Use synonyms
.Throughout the next 10
years
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,the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of male smokers declined steadily,picking
around
Change preposition
up around
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 2
million
Use synonyms
 in 2021. Meanwhile,the number of
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
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 smokers
also
Linking Words
 plummeted in the next 10
years
Use synonyms
.Starting at 3.5
million
Use synonyms
 in 2011 ,
then
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 fell to approximately 1
million
Use synonyms
 in 2021.
However
Linking Words
,by the end of the period ,the gap between the amount of male and female smokers had decreased considerably.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words years, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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