Directors’ large organisations earn much higher salaries than ordinary employees. Some people think it is necessary, but others believe that it is unfair
The
company
must to
consider Change the verb form
apply
Correct article usage
the apropriate
apropriate
Correct your spelling
appropriate
salary
for their employees
. While
some people argue that it is unfair if the director's
get higher Change the noun form
directors
director
salary
than new Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
employees
, I side with those who feel that the executive
leader should get
earn Verb problem
have
high
Correct word choice
higher
salary
.
Firstly
, the executive
leaders
Change to a genitive case
leader's
leaders'
position
need
high Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
qualification
. It is well-known, Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
some
directors usually need to meet the requirements Correct word choice
that some
such
as 5 years experience
as Change preposition
of experience
operational
Add an article
an operational
leader
and have passed Fix the agreement mistake
leaders
asseessment
competency as Correct your spelling
assessment
assessments
director's
in the Change noun form
directors
company
. Moreover
, the director also
given Add a missing verb
is also
high risk
responsibility which is Add a hyphen
high-risk
they
need to think Correct your spelling
the
strategies
for Change preposition
of strategies
company
sustainability. So, It is worthly
if the directors get Correct your spelling
worthy
high
Correct article usage
a high
salary
becuse
Correct your spelling
because
their
Change preposition
of their
resposibility
. Correct your spelling
responsibility
Therefore
, the company
should consider high salary
for executive
leaders
position
Fix the agreement mistake
positions
because
their Add the preposition
because of
qualification
.
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
On the other hand
, sometimes new employees
also
have experiences which not
much less as directors. Add a missing verb
are not
Besides
that, certain positions also
held high resposibility
, so maybe they deserve Correct your spelling
responsibility
high
Correct article usage
a high
salary
too. In addition
, operational leaders
Change noun form
leaders'
leader's
position
as Fix the agreement mistake
positions
manager
Fix the agreement mistake
managers
also
have significant role
in the Fix the agreement mistake
roles
company
. Aditionally
, the Correct your spelling
Additionally
company
need to consider equitabel
for all Correct your spelling
equitable
employees
that
the Correct word choice
apply
salary
appropriate for their responsibilities. This
means,
Remove the comma
apply
new
Correct word choice
that new
employees
in certain position
should get Fix the agreement mistake
positions
high
Correct article usage
a high
salary
. Therefore
, it is necessary to consider appropriately the salary
structure for all employees
.
In conclusion, while
the
Correct article usage
apply
excecutive
Correct your spelling
executive
leaders
need to pays
Change the verb
pay
high
Correct article usage
a high
salary
because Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
their
competency, Change preposition
of their
does'n
out the possibility that ordinary Correct your spelling
doesn't
employee
maybe Fix the agreement mistake
employees
have
high competency too. Change the verb form
has
Therefore
, on balance, I remain firmly
convinced that the executive
leader should get
earn Verb problem
apply
high
Add an article
a high
salary
.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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task achievement
Enhance the grammatical range and accuracy. Some sentences contain minor grammatical errors which could affect clarity.
task achievement
Develop your supporting arguments with more specific and detailed examples to strengthen your response.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by ensuring smoother transitions between points and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively outlines and summarizes the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a logical structure with distinct paragraphs for different points, making it relatively easy to follow.
task achievement
The main points are relevant and address the task prompt, discussing both views on the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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