Many countries have compulsory military service for young men after they leave school. It would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men, and possibly for women too. Do you agree or disagree with this statement
Powerful
army shows the Correct article usage
A powerful
strenght
of the Correct your spelling
strength
nation
. It is seen that in many parys
of the world it Correct your spelling
parts
os
mandatory to join the army after completing high school. It is Correct your spelling
is
very
good Correct article usage
a very
intiative
for both Correct your spelling
initiative
the
genders to serve their Correct article usage
apply
country
.Upcoming writing will highlight some points talking about the positive impact of joining the armed forces gor
both Correct your spelling
for
the
genders.
First of all, joining the armed forces can make the youngster more disciplined and punctual individuals in the future. Correct article usage
apply
As new
Change preposition
New
recruites
in the military have to follow Correct your spelling
recruits
recruiters
fix
Replace the word
fixed
schedule
every day and it is important for them to complete their physical training despite any circumstances. Fix the agreement mistake
schedules
Fir
example, in Correct your spelling
For
army
every officer Add an article
the army
have
to Correct subject-verb agreement
has
wakeup
early in Correct your spelling
wake
morning
, do exercise, washing uniform and Add an article
the morning
cooking
food. To Replace the word
cook
vomplete
all these activities Correct your spelling
complete
in
Change preposition
on
the
time one needs to be disciplined and punctual. Correct article usage
apply
Hence
, these qualities can be benificial
for young ones even after Correct your spelling
beneficial
kwaving
the service.
Correct your spelling
leaving
Secondly
, being a soilder
can increase Correct your spelling
soldier
the
Correct article usage
apply
nationlism
among the youth. Serving as a Correct your spelling
nationalism
militan
can teach Correct your spelling
military
militant
Add an article
a youngster
youngster
about the Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
difficuities
that arise in keeping the borders secure and harmony in the Correct your spelling
difficulties
country
. For example
, after going on the border troops get familiar with the dangers and harsh working conditions on the boundary of the nation
. Working for security
and integrity of the Correct article usage
the security
nation
will make youngones
Correct your spelling
young ones
thankfull
and respectful Correct your spelling
thankful
for
their Change preposition
of
country
. Therefore
, when an individual work
hard for the protection of the Correct subject-verb agreement
works
country
they develop feeling
Correct article usage
a feeling
if
nationalism.
Considering all the points above, one youth can Correct your spelling
of
enbuilt inportant
qualities like discipline and punctuality by following strict rules. Correct your spelling
build important
Moreover
, one become
patriotic after serving on the Change the verb form
becomes
boundries
of their Correct your spelling
boundaries
nation
, as they realize odds
which arise on the borders.Correct article usage
the odds
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coherence cohesion
Try to organize your ideas more clearly and logically. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
coherence cohesion
Develop a stronger introduction and conclusion to frame your argument effectively.
task achievement
Expand on your ideas for a more comprehensive response. Try to address potential counterarguments or different perspectives for better task achievement.
task achievement
Work on enhancing the clarity of your ideas by avoiding any vague or ambiguous statements.
task achievement
The essay effectively uses examples to support the arguments, especially regarding discipline and nationalism.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical flow of ideas, predominantly in discussing the positive impacts of military service.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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