In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard.

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It is true that during studying or at work, some people make more significant effort compared to their peers or colleagues. In

this

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essay, I will present the main reason why

this

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is happening and

then

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go on to explain why, in my opinion,

this

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approach is not always beneficial. As far as I am concerned, a particular share of people are trying harder because they have a great desire to achieve their

goal

Fix the agreement mistake

goals

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as fast as possible.

While

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this

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way of working and studying is effective in most situations, there

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

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some

exception

Fix the agreement mistake

exceptions

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when people’s efforts are not rewarded. In conclusion, I consider that hard workers dedicate more

their

Change preposition

of their

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time or efforts to their studying or working in order to achieve the desired result.

While

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I understand that it is a good way in most situations, some

exception

Fix the agreement mistake

exceptions

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exists

Change the verb form

exist

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Submitted by halynasmyk953 on Thu Nov 14 2024

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task achievement

Try to provide more specific examples to support your argument. This could help clarify your points and demonstrate understanding.

task achievement

Develop your main points more fully. Explain your ideas in more depth and provide detailed reasons and evidence.

coherence cohesion

Ensure logical progression of ideas. Consider transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs to improve flow.

coherence cohesion

You have structured the essay with a clear introduction and conclusion, which gives the essay a coherent frame.

task achievement

You have acknowledged both sides of the question - the reasons why people work hard and whether it is always beneficial - which addresses the task requirements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

3
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

141 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Genetic predisposition
Work ethic
Upbringing
Cultural values
Ambitions
Motivated
Fear of failure
Competitive nature
Overworking
Burnout
Stress-related health issues
Productivity
Quality of life
Healthy balance
Long-term productivity

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In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard.

Fully explain your ideas

As global trade increases, many goods including those we use on a daily basis are produced in other countries and have to be transported long distance. Do the benefits of this trend outweigh the drawbacks?

Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others believe actions can be taken to bring about a change.

Some people hesitate between getting a job and starting their own business. While the idea of not having a boss and working on one's own schedule may sound tempting, financial risks and stress sometimes outweigh these advantages. In your opinion what are the pros and cons of working in a company?

By punishing murderers with the death penalty, society is also guilty of commiting murder.Therefore, life in prison is a better punishment for murderers.

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction.