IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that it is better to have the same job throughout their life, while others think that people should change their job after some period of time. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

#people #job #life #change #period #time
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Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that it is better to have the same
jobs
Use synonyms
 throughout their whole lives,
while
Linking Words
 others believe that
people
Use synonyms
 should
change
Use synonyms
 their
jobs
Use synonyms
 after a certain
period
Use synonyms
 of
time
Use synonyms
. I personally believe that
while
Linking Words
 staying in
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
workplace
Use synonyms
 offers
comfort
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 should
change
Use synonyms
 their
jobs
Use synonyms
 after
sometime
Replace the word
some time
show examples
 for their professional
development
Use synonyms
. If a person stays in
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
workplace
Use synonyms
, it offers
comfort
Use synonyms
 to them. They perform the same types of tasks for a long
period
Use synonyms
 of
time
Use synonyms
, and
therefore
Linking Words
, they become accustomed to their job nature. They do not have to take challenges in their
workplace
Use synonyms
, and they do not have to worry about their job responsibilities.
As a result
Linking Words
, their
workplace
Use synonyms
 provides
comfort
Use synonyms
 to them.
For example
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 in Bangladesh,
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their 40s and 50s, do not have the tendency to
change
Use synonyms
 their
jobs
Use synonyms
 because they do not want to come out of their
comfort
Use synonyms
 zone.
However
Linking Words
, I personally believe that
people
Use synonyms
 should
change
Use synonyms
 their
jobs
Use synonyms
 because staying in
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
workplace
Use synonyms
 does not offer professional
development
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
 should
change
Use synonyms
 their
jobs
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
workplace
Fix the agreement mistake
workplaces
show examples
 after a certain
period
Use synonyms
 of
time
Use synonyms
 because it offers professional growth. If a person changes their
workplace
Use synonyms
, they can explore new opportunities, accept new challenges, and can adapt
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
new
Add an article
the new
a new
show examples
 environment. All these offer them
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
huge professional growth, and they become more efficient in their work.
For example
Linking Words
, in Australia, many employees from the young generation,
change
Use synonyms
 their
jobs
Use synonyms
 every year only because it provides them with professional
development
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I believe that changing
jobs
Use synonyms
 after a certain
period
Use synonyms
 of
time
Use synonyms
 is necessary. In conclusion, I personally believe that every professional should come out of their
comfort
Use synonyms
 zone, and
change
Use synonyms
 their
jobs
Use synonyms
 after a certain
period
Use synonyms
 of
time
Use synonyms
 for their professional
development
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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task achievement
Ensure a more balanced discussion with equal weight to both viewpoints. Discuss the potential benefits and downsides of both sticking with the same job and changing jobs more thoroughly.
coherence cohesion
Use more transitional words and phrases to enhance the flow between and within paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively summarizing the main points.
task achievement
Good use of specific examples to support opinions, providing a personal perspective and real-world insights.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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