The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by ‎almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this ‎disturbing trend.

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we will Discuss the causes of e why overweight

children

Use synonyms

percentage in

western

Capitalize word

Western

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society has started to increase in the

last

Linking Words

10 years by 20%. on the one hand , one of the causes for

children

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being overweight in Western society

Remove the comma

apply

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the

Correct article usage

apply

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not healthy

food

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Correct your spelling

in other words

Linking Words

eating

food

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with a lot of fat and oil makes the

weight

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increase For

Correct your spelling

example example

exampleexample

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example

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

fast

food

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is the main cause of overweight study

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pushed

plushed

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found

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show examples

New York University that 80% of

children

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who eat fast

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food food

foodfood

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food

have more

weight

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than

who

Correct pronoun usage

those who

show examples

eat

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

healthy

food

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on the other hand

Linking Words

. not move in a normal way or play in out said

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withe

Correct your spelling

with

show examples

other

kids

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, and just stay

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show examples

home and watch

Correct your spelling

show examples

or play

wiht

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with

them

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their

show examples

phone all the time are overweight .

along with

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. sport is an an important thing for a good health and a good

weight

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. in my opinion,

the

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apply

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parent

Fix the agreement mistake

parents

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should

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Correct your spelling

care

caer

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care

about their

children

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weight

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and their

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kids

Change noun form

kid's

kids'

show examples

roten

Correct your spelling

rotten

like what

did

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

Correct your spelling

they

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the

Correct your spelling

they

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do and eat

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

a healthy

Remove the article

healthy food

a portion of healthy food

show examples

food

Use synonyms

with a lot of protein

for example

Linking Words

and making a plan for their

children

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Change the article

show examples

important thing and don't make

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

kids

Use synonyms

play with a phone

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withe

Correct your spelling

with

show examples

a long time or just make them

Replace the word

and

show examples

a tv , the need to go out said and play

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withe

Correct your spelling

with

show examples

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

kids

Use synonyms

withe

Correct your spelling

with

show examples

a same age and do sport in every day to move

them

Change the pronoun

their

show examples

body, in my opinion,

this

Linking Words

are

Change the verb form

show examples

one of important steep for a good

weight

Use synonyms

joudyasser805Sun Nov 17 2024

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coherence cohesion

The essay lacks clarity in expressing the ideas. It requires a clear structure and progression with logically connected sentences. Consider using linking words and phrases (e.g., 'however,' 'as a result,' 'furthermore') to enhance coherence.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present but need strengthening for a higher band. Ensure the introduction clearly outlines the main points, and the conclusion sums up key ideas effectively.

task achievement

Some points lack sufficient support or examples. Try to provide more relevant and specific examples to back up your arguments.

task achievement

You have addressed the task by discussing both causes and effects of the increase in overweight children.

task achievement

The essay includes personal opinion and suggestions, indicating an effort to provide a comprehensive response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
40
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

256 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary lifestyles
advancements in technology
physical activities
availability
popularity
fast food
high-calorie
marketed aggressively
preferred choice
lack of awareness
education
healthy eating habits
nutritional values
dietary choices
physical
psychological
risk
developing
serious health problems
diabetes
high blood pressure
heart disease
bullying
social isolation
low self-esteem
depression
anxiety
long-term impact
quality of life
personal and professional life

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The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by ‎almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this ‎disturbing trend.

Fully explain your ideas

the most important aim science should be to improve peoples lives. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statment?

The death penalty is the best way to control and reduce serious crime. To what extent do you agree?

Topic: Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are important to a child’s development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent, do you agree or disagree?

People should be allowed to continue to work as long as the want to, and not be forced to retire at a particular age such as 60 or 65. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experiences.

Some people think that old buildings should be protected, while others believe that they should be replaced by newer buildings. Discuss both views and give your opinion.