IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You wish to apply for a new college course, but you are unsure about the details of cost, duration and subjects posted on the college website. Write an email to the relevant person in admissions at the college, asking them to clarify these points for you. In this email, •Say what your interest is •Explain why the website is unclear •Request the information that you need Begin your letter ‘Dear --------’ Do not write any addresses

#college #course #cost #duration #subjects #website #email #person #admissions #points #•say #interest #•explain #•request #information #‘dear #addresses
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Sir or Madam I hope you find
this
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 letter well
an
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and
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 you are doing
good
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well
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. I am
wrtitng
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writing
this
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 letter to you to gather some
deatils
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details
 about the Gaming
develop
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development
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 program.
Firstly
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, I want to know the cost
for
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of
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 the course. On
website
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the website
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 they wrote $5000, I just want to confirm that it is monthly or for
whole
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the whole
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 program. And I like to know
the
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apply
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some information about the professor who like to teach me.
However
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, I
aslo
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also
 like to know
the
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apply
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what kind of tech or material like
computer
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a computer
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 or laptop which window I need or
e books
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e-books
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 or notes I need to learn the game
develop
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to develop
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 faster and
easliy
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easily
easier
. And just to for my
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knowledge
knowlegde
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knowlegde,
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i
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I
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 want to know from which topic the course is going to start like, from basic or from intermediate level. Kind Regards Davinder Singh
Submitted by 01davindersingh01 on

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single idea per paragraph
Ensure each paragraph has a single, clear idea. Consider separating the topics of cost, professors, materials, and course level into distinct paragraphs.
suitable writing tone
While the tone is generally suitable, it can be slightly more formal by avoiding phrases like 'I hope you find this letter well.'
greeting and closing
The greeting 'Dear Sir or Madam' and the closing 'Kind Regards' provide a polite and appropriate structure for the email.
complete response
You have effectively addressed all parts of the task, including expressing your interest, explaining website confusion, and listing the required details.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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