IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The pie charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak additional languages besides English, in 2000 and 2010.

The pie charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak additional languages besides English, in 2000 and 2010.
#show #proportions #british #students #university #england #languages #english
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The pie graphs
presents
Change the verb form
present
show examples
 the distribution of foreign
language
Use synonyms
 ability among British
students
Use synonyms
 from
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
 in England,
during
Change preposition
between
show examples
 2000 and 2010.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 from 2000 to 2010,
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
show examples
 of
students
Use synonyms
 who only can speak
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
 demonstrates
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
shrink
Change the verb form
shrinking
show examples
 trend,
althoug
Correct your spelling
although
 it
had decrease
Wrong verb form
has a decreasing
show examples
 trend,
whereas
Linking Words
 the largest proportion.
Noticeable
Change the word
Noticeably
show examples
,
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
show examples
 of
students
Use synonyms
 who can speak more than one
language
Use synonyms
 outlines the
significantly
Change the adverb
significant
show examples
 growth. In more detail, the percentage of
students
Use synonyms
 who only know
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 from 65% in 200 to 50% in 2010, shrink down 15% in total.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
 can speak more than three languages
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
1
Change preposition
by 1
show examples
% in total,
while
Linking Words
 the percentage of can speak two additional languages and one additional
language
Use synonyms
are increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
4
Change preposition
by 4
show examples
% and 10% in total, respectively. In conclusion, all the information was clear and easy to compare
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
shows
Wrong verb form
showing
show examples
 that
Use synonyms
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
 foreign
language
Use synonyms
 ability shows
strongly
Replace the word
strong
show examples
improvment
Correct your spelling
improvement
.
Submitted by hibana2077 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words language, students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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