The pie charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak additional languages besides English, in 2000 and 2010.

The pie charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak additional languages besides English, in 2000 and 2010.
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The pie graphs
presents
Change the verb form
present
show examples
the distribution of foreign
language
ability among British
students
from
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
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in England,
during
Change preposition
between
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2000 and 2010.
It is clear that
from 2000 to 2010,
proportion
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the proportion
show examples
of
students
who only can speak
english
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English
show examples
demonstrates
the
Correct article usage
a
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shrink
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shrinking
show examples
trend,
althoug
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although
it
had decrease
Wrong verb form
has a decreasing
show examples
trend,
whereas
the largest proportion.
Noticeable
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Noticeably
show examples
,
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
show examples
of
students
who can speak more than one
language
outlines the
significantly
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significant
show examples
growth. In more detail, the percentage of
students
who only know
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
from 65% in 200 to 50% in 2010, shrink down 15% in total.
In contrast
,
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
can speak more than three languages
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
1
Change preposition
by 1
show examples
% in total,
while
the percentage of can speak two additional languages and one additional
language
are increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
4
Change preposition
by 4
show examples
% and 10% in total, respectively. In conclusion, all the information was clear and easy to compare
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
,
while
shows
Wrong verb form
showing
show examples
that
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
foreign
language
ability shows
strongly
Replace the word
strong
show examples
improvment
Correct your spelling
improvement
.
Submitted by hibana2077 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words language, students with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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