In schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts subjects, while boys choose science subjects. What is the reason? Should the trend be changed?

There is a noticeable difference in schools and
universities
Change the noun form
university
show examples
students, where female students tend to pick arts
subjects
,
whereas
male students pick science
subjects
.
This
essay will try to identify the reason for
this
phenomenon and
to
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apply
show examples
discuss the continuity of
this
trend. One of the reasons can be explained by the fact that the stigma around people is that
unlike
Add the comma(s)
, unlike
show examples
women
, men are more capable and expert on science
subjects
.
This
gender
disparity has been shaped
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
our society that makes
women
doubt their own abilities and
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
.
For instance
, many jobs require a male candidate to occupy a challenging position.
As a result
,
women
started to change their career path from the beginning, focusing more on arts
subjects
since they couldn’t see a viable career in
male dominating
Correct your spelling
male-dominated
show examples
positions.
Additionally
,
women
who focus their interest in an arts subject
also
have these incredible careers. To illustrate,
lately
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lately,
show examples
the fashion design industry is dominated by female workers
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
significantly make an impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
world.
This
situation shouldn’t be overlooked because over time
this
will lead to
gender
disparities. Started
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
discrimination in schools and universities based on
subject
Add an article
the subject
show examples
then
later on to professional work.
This
trend was abolished in the past and we as a young generation should not make
this
viable anymore. Men and
women
have their own rights to choose their interests and future
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
.
This
cannot be divided by
gender
. We must encourage everyone to study what they are passionate about and make a significant impact on the world. In conclusion,
this
trend happens because of the long stigma that shaped society regarding the difference in ability of men and
women
. These trends should be changed because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
will lead to
gender
disparities. We can empower everyone to explore their interests without hesitation.
Submitted by salwaputrihardiyan on

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task achievement
Include more specific examples and statistics to strengthen argument.
task achievement
Work on providing more detailed explanations for each point made.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion with logical arguments presented.
task achievement
Task is well covered with a focus on addressing the reasons and potential changes related to the trend.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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