Eating too much sugar is harmful for our health. Some people think it is government responsibility to limit people's sugar consumption, while others think it is an individual's responsibility to limit the amount of suger they eat. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#sugar #health #people #government #responsibility #limit #consumption #amount #suger

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Number of consuming of

sugar

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is increasing day one day and that affects our health, even though can lead to health problems. Some societies say that the

government

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should be responsible for limiting people's how much

sugar

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they use

while

Linking Words

other parts of society think that it is our problem to manage our

sugar

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consumption

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. In my view, the number of using

sugar

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is totally our responsibility. We are going to discuss two views. First of all, people in their daily life have their own food and they

control

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how much

sugar

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their meals include because the

government

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can not limit their lives because it is people's preference.

For example

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, if the

government

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tries to

control

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our

sugar

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consumption

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, that tends to be different protests by society because nobody likes to be controlled by the

government

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On the other hand

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, if the

government

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limit the markets from selling high-

sugar

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sugar

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products or more harmful items that could help to

control

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our

sugar

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consumption

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However

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, as I mentioned in the second paragraph no one is willing to

control

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it,

also

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; if the

government

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puts conditions on products that would affect commercial companies and related the economy can affected by that issue. In conclusion,

sugar

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can be really dangerous when used more than a percentage of

consumption

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so consumer should get their own responsibility because every individual has their own limit and everyone should manage themselves. Goverment can not conservate our lifes.

Submitted by temelmelisa9 on Thu Nov 21 2024

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coherence cohesion

Try to strengthen the logical flow of your arguments. Although you have touched on both sides of the argument, the connection between sentences and paragraphs can be improved for better readability and understanding.

task achievement

Make sure your essay responds to all parts of the task. Although you've discussed both views, you could further elaborate on your own opinion with more examples or reasoning.

task achievement

Work on developing your ideas more comprehensively. Your essay can benefit from more detailed examples and explanations to reinforce each point.

coherence cohesion

Your essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your discussion well.

task achievement

You have managed to explore both viewpoints regarding sugar consumption responsibility, which demonstrates an understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

240 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

excessive consumption
public health
regulate
sugar content
food labeling
sugar tax
nutritional information
educate
personal responsibility
autonomy
freedom of choice
informed choices
health campaigns
dietary habits
well-being

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Eating too much sugar is harmful for our health. Some people think it is government responsibility to limit people's sugar consumption, while others think it is an individual's responsibility to limit the amount of suger they eat. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think it is the government’s responsibility to tackle environmental issues. Others believe it is up to each individual to be environmentally responsible. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

Nowadays, lots of household waste is a problem. What is the cause of this problem and how can we solve the issue?

It has been said, “Not everything that is learned is contained in books.” Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gaied from books. In your opinion, which source is more important and why?

ln many parts of the world, children orc given more freedom than in the past. ls this a positive or o negative development?

Some people think that they can be fit by going to gym, while others think there are other better way to remain fit. Discuss both views and give your opinion.