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Eating too much sugar is harmful for our health. Some people think it is government responsibility to limit people's sugar consumption, while others think it is an individual's responsibility to limit the amount of suger they eat. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#sugar #health #people #government #responsibility #limit #consumption #amount #suger
Number of consuming of
sugar
 is increasing day one day and that affects our health, even though can lead to health problems. Some societies say that the
government
 should be responsible for limiting people's how much
sugar
 they use
while
 other parts of society think that it is our problem to manage our
sugar
consumption
. In my view, the number of using
sugar
 is totally our responsibility. We are going to discuss two views. First of all, people in their daily life have their own food and they
control
 how much
sugar
 their meals include because the
government
 can not limit their lives because it is people's preference.
For example
, if the
government
 tries to
control
 our
sugar
consumption
, that tends to be different protests by society because nobody likes to be controlled by the
government
.
On the other hand
, if the
government
 limit the markets from selling high-
sugar
sugar
 products or more harmful items that could help to
control
 our
sugar
consumption
.
However
, as I mentioned in the second paragraph no one is willing to
control
 it,
also
; if the
government
 puts conditions on products that would affect commercial companies and related the economy can affected by that issue. In conclusion,
sugar
 can be really dangerous when used more than a percentage of
consumption
 so consumer should get their own responsibility because every individual has their own limit and everyone should manage themselves. Goverment can not conservate our lifes.
Submitted by temelmelisa9 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to strengthen the logical flow of your arguments. Although you have touched on both sides of the argument, the connection between sentences and paragraphs can be improved for better readability and understanding.
task achievement
Make sure your essay responds to all parts of the task. Although you've discussed both views, you could further elaborate on your own opinion with more examples or reasoning.
task achievement
Work on developing your ideas more comprehensively. Your essay can benefit from more detailed examples and explanations to reinforce each point.
coherence cohesion
Your essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your discussion well.
task achievement
You have managed to explore both viewpoints regarding sugar consumption responsibility, which demonstrates an understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • excessive consumption
  • public health
  • regulate
  • sugar content
  • food labeling
  • sugar tax
  • nutritional information
  • educate
  • personal responsibility
  • autonomy
  • freedom of choice
  • informed choices
  • health campaigns
  • dietary habits
  • well-being
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