Some food travels long distance from the producers to the consumers. Some people believe that it is better for the environment and economy if people only buy food produced by local farmers. Do you think the advantages of this idea would outweigh the disadvantages?
These days, quite many
food
is brought a long distance from the producers to the consumers
. It is a belief that it is better for the environment as well as
for the economy if people only buy locally produced food
.
On the one hand, there are a lot of benefits, if people obtain food
and other goods from local farmers. Firstly
, the food
is much more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
fresh
compared to imported one, as there is no need to travel long Replace the word
fresher
distance
to reach the Fix the agreement mistake
distances
consumers
. Besides
, the food
is healther
as well, as no preservatives are required to keep the Correct your spelling
healthier
healthy
food
fresh for a longer time. Secondly
, the food
is cheaper, as there are no additional transportation costs. Moreover
, in such
Correct article usage
a way
way
the local economy is supported. Add a comma
way,
In addition
, less travelling means less environmental polution
.
Correct your spelling
pollution
On the other hand
, there are quite many disadvantages of
Change preposition
to
such
approach
. Correct article usage
an approach
It is clear that
local farmers cannot ensure the variety of the production. For instance
, coffee, tea, many
fruits and vegetables can be grown only in a particular climate zone. If Correct word choice
and many
such
goods cannot be imported, it means that the consumers
from other regions never get it
. Correct pronoun usage
them
Also
, there might be cases when local farmers are not able to fullfil
the Correct your spelling
fulfil
need
of Fix the agreement mistake
needs
local
population, Add an article
the local
for example
, due to
negative weather conditions, when majority
of a harvest is damaged.
In summary, there are advantages Add an article
the majority
a majority
as well as
disadvantages for
Change preposition
to
idea
of buying Add an article
the idea
an idea
food
only locally. In my opinion, the more food
people obtain locally, the better it is for the environment, population health and local economy. However
, it is not possible to fullfil
all Correct your spelling
fulfil
consumers
' needs by only having local products. Therefore
, advantages
of Correct article usage
the advantages
this
idea still do not outweigh the disadvantages.Submitted by rasav on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, referring to specific types of local produce and specific environmental impacts could make your points more relatable and vivid.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that transitions between ideas are always clear to maintain flow. While your essay is generally coherent, some connections could be made more explicit.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear structure in your essay with a logical introduction, body paragraphs addressing both sides of the argument and a well-summarized conclusion.
task achievement
Your arguments are relevant to the topic and you show a clear understanding of both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic in discussion.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!