Only 20% of Tech Jobs are Held by Women. What problems do women face that prevent them from getting these jobs and what must be done to change this situation.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Women

Use synonyms

Change the verb form

are

show examples

facing hard times

Change preposition

show examples

getting

jobs

Use synonyms

. Even,

Use synonyms

women

Change noun form

women's

show examples

representation in

tech

Use synonyms

jobs

Use synonyms

just

Add a missing verb

is just

show examples

around 20 per cent, which is a really small percentage. I suggest that the main

causes

Fix the agreement mistake

cause

show examples

is the

job

Use synonyms

requirements itself.

However

Linking Words

, there is a way to solve

this

Linking Words

problem by giving a chance to

women

Use synonyms

work

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

kind of

Use synonyms

jobs

Fix the agreement mistake

job

show examples

. As people can see, sometimes the

job

Use synonyms

requirements are impossible to

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

for

women

Use synonyms

workers. In

job

Use synonyms

tech

Use synonyms

, many

tech

Use synonyms

companies

Use synonyms

require male

workes

Correct your spelling

workers

show examples

to fill in the position. They think that

women

Use synonyms

Change the verb form

are

show examples

not as strong as

man

Fix the agreement mistake

men

show examples

to do the

jobs

Use synonyms

and

Add a missing verb

are more

show examples

suitable for

man

Fix the agreement mistake

men

show examples

For example

Linking Words

, one of

Use synonyms

job

Correct article usage

the job

show examples

vacancy

Fix the agreement mistake

vacancies

show examples

in XYZ (one of

Use synonyms

tech

Add an article

the tech

show examples

companies

Use synonyms

in Indonesia) that I found on LinkedIn was looking for a smart guy worker. If there is a female candidate,

then

Linking Words

she must be single, and

this

Linking Words

such

Linking Words

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

discriminating

Replace the word

discrimination

show examples

. Our society can resolve

this

Linking Words

problem by

open

Replace the word

opening

show examples

wider opportunities for

women

Use synonyms

to enter the

tech

Use synonyms

industry.

This

Linking Words

solution can open many chances for

women

Use synonyms

to thrive and show their skills in

tech

Use synonyms

companies

Use synonyms

Then

Linking Words

, the good news is, it can

breaks

Change the verb form

break

show examples

the stigma that

women

Use synonyms

do not fit in

Use synonyms

tech

Add an article

the tech

show examples

industry,

Linking Words

otherwise

Add a comma

otherwise,

show examples

women

Use synonyms

can be

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

expert

Fix the agreement mistake

experts

show examples

For instance

Linking Words

, Unilever has a program

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

called "WULF (

Women

Use synonyms

in Engineering Unilever Leadership Fellowship" and

this

Linking Words

is a special program for

women

Use synonyms

work

Use synonyms

in STEM (science, technology, engineering, and mathematics)

field

Fix the agreement mistake

fields

show examples

To sum up

Linking Words

job

Use synonyms

requirements become a main problem why

women

Use synonyms

can not

work

Use synonyms

tech

Use synonyms

companies

Use synonyms

Nevertheless

Linking Words

Change preposition

apply

show examples

giving chance to

women

Use synonyms

to enter the industry,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

will enlarge the percentage of

women

Use synonyms

who

work

Use synonyms

tech

Use synonyms

jobs

Use synonyms

wishmeluck Fri Nov 22 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

The essay tackles the task but would benefit from expanding on points made to provide a more comprehensive analysis. Consider discussing both cultural and educational challenges that might prevent women from entering tech jobs.

coherence cohesion

Although the essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, further developing the arguments and linking ideas more cohesively would help. Use linking words and appropriate paragraphing.

task response

The essay identifies job requirements as a pivotal reason why women might be underrepresented in tech jobs. This is an insightful observation that addresses the task directly.

coherence cohesion

The introduction clearly outlines the issue, and the conclusion succinctly reiterates the main points while offering a potential solution, providing a well-rounded view of the problem.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

279 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?
There is no doubt that traffic and pollution from vehicles have become huge problems, both in cities and on motorways everywhere. Solving these problems is likely to need more than a simple rise in the price of petrol.
<4
band
Some people believe it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience
There are many unpredictable situations in human life; either satisfactory or unsatisfactory. While some people argue that the best solution to face a bad situation is to accept it, I side with those who consider that the better way to cope with that situation is to improve their situation on the positive side.
5
band
Q. Giving lectures in auditoriums to large numbers of students is an old way of teaching. With the technology available today there is no justification for it, and everything should be done online. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion. Gneral topic -teaching way specific topics- auditorium/online way Completely agree - Advancement in technology provide more convenient method such as smart classes in the schools and practical labs to provide more information.
It is argued that in old times, many students used to learn from teachers in the auditoriums, where as today the way of teaching has been changed due to the developement of the technology and everything should be done online. I am totally agree with this because due to the technology , teachers can provide better education within a time period and students can listen to record lectures anytime.
5
band
A healthy person is often described as someone who has a good diet, gets plenty of exercise and avoids stress. What should people do to stay healthy in your country? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
It is often believed that a person is said to be healthy, if he maintains good idet, try to be stress free, and do a lot of exercise. In my country, people should follow healthy routine to stay fit. In this essay, I will discuss, and provide necessary examples to support my reasons.
<4
band
A magazine wants to include contributions from its readers for an article called the book that influenced me most. Write a letter to the editor of the magazine about the book that influenced you most. In your letter Describe what this book was about Explain how this book influenced you Say whether this book would be likely to influence other people Write at least 150 words. You do not need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to the editor of the magazine about the book that influenced you most.

Only 20% of Tech Jobs are Held by Women. What problems do women face that prevent them from getting these jobs and what must be done to change this situation.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

A healthy person is often described as someone who has a good diet, gets plenty of exercise and avoids stress. What should people do to stay healthy in your country? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.