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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the proportion of business making e-commerce purchases by industry in Canada between 2015 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the proportion of business making e-commerce purchases by industry in Canada between 2015 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given chart provides information regarding 4 different
type
Change to a plural noun
types
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 of
purchuses
Correct your spelling
purchases
purchase
includes
Wrong verb form
including
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 manufacturing,
constraction
Correct your spelling
construction
, retail and communication
where
Correct word choice
which
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 businesses made in
Canadian
Correct article usage
the Canadian
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 industry between 2015 and 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the amount of money spent on
industry
Add an article
the industry
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 has significantly increased
through out
Correct your spelling
throughout
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 years.
Manufacturing
Correct article usage
The manufacturing
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 process jumped from 30% to 50% within a year
Correct word choice
apply
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while
Linking Words
, it
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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slightly
droped
Correct your spelling
dropped
 in 2017 followed by growth to more than 50% in 2019. Information and Communication had the highest money
cunsumption
Correct your spelling
consumption
 during
this
Linking Words
 period where there was 60% in 2015 and gradually increased to more than 70% in 2019. In conclusion, it is obvious that the Canadian companies made a huge investment in all
compartment
Fix the agreement mistake
compartments
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 of industrial businesses.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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