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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In contemporary academia, a debate rages among university students regarding the allocation of their study time. Some advocate for delving into additional
subjects
Use synonyms
 beyond their majors,
while
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 others firmly believe that concentrating solely on obtaining a
qualification
Use synonyms
 is paramount. In my view,
while
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 exploring extra
subjects
Use synonyms
 offers certain advantages, focusing on
Use synonyms
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
 is more beneficial for future career prospects. On
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one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand, there are compelling reasons to study additional
subjects
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.
Firstly
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, it significantly broadens
one
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's career horizons. In today's highly competitive job market, employers often seek candidates with diverse skill sets.
For instance
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, a computer science major who
also
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 studies business administration can seamlessly transition into roles
such
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 as project management or product development within the tech industry.
Moreover
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, learning multiple
subjects
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 enhances cognitive flexibility.
According to
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 a study by Harvard University, students exposed to interdisciplinary studies tend to develop
higher - order
Use the right word
higher-order
show examples
 thinking skills, enabling them to approach problems from multiple perspectives.
On the other hand
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, dedicating all efforts to studying for a
qualification
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 has its own merits. A
well - earned
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well-earned
show examples
qualification
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 serves as
a
Correct article usage
apply
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tangible proof of
one
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's expertise in a particular field.
For example
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, in the medical field, a doctor with a
specialized
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specialised
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 certification in cardiology is more likely to be hired by
top - tier
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top-tier
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 hospitals than a general practitioner.
Additionally
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, many industries have strict requirements for specific qualifications. Employers in the finance sector,
for instance
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, often
prioritize
Use the right word
prioritise
show examples
 candidates with a Chartered Financial Analyst (CFA) designation, as it demonstrates a high level of knowledge and commitment. In conclusion,
while
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 studying additional
subjects
Use synonyms
 can enrich
one
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's knowledge and skills, I firmly contend that focusing on obtaining a
qualification
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 is more crucial. A solid
qualification
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 not only opens doors to better job opportunities but
also
Linking Words
 provides a competitive edge in the job market.
Therefore
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, students should
prioritize
Use the right word
prioritise
show examples
 their efforts towards achieving a
recognized
Use the right word
recognised
show examples
qualification
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.

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structure
Make the intro short and clear. State your view at once.
content
Add more clear and real examples to back your points.
grammar
Fix spaces around dashes and use correct spell for hyphen words like well-earned and top-tier.
style
Keep some sentences short so they are easy to read.
task response
Finish with a strong end that matches your view.
structure
Clear order of ideas with good link words.
content
Clear view and good balance of sides.
examples
Use of examples to back your points.
coherence
Reasoning is easy to follow.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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