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Writing Samples
Band 7

The pie charts show the percentage of male and female workers in three employment sectors in two countries in 2007

The pie charts show the percentage of male and female workers in three employment sectors in two countries in 2007
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The pie charts illustrate the proportion of
men
Use synonyms
 and women across three different workforce stages in two countries for the year 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, service dominates among males and females in both countries,standing out as the most significant,
while
Linking Words
 the
industry
Use synonyms
 faces a notable rate in country B and
agriculture
Use synonyms
 rates a higher percentage in country A. In County A, there was not a significant difference between
men
Use synonyms
 and women. Service emerged as a leading sector with male workers constituting 56 % and female workers representing 49 %. A significant portion of
men
Use synonyms
, specifically 29 %, are engaged in
agriculture
Use synonyms
, which is approximately twice the percentage of males, involved in
industry
Use synonyms
 at 15 %.
Similarly
Linking Words
, female involvement reaches 43 % in
agriculture
Use synonyms
,a figure
that is
Linking Words
 around six times greater than in
industry
Use synonyms
 at 8 %.
Conversely
Linking Words
, in country B, the service sector
also
Linking Words
 dominates and captures 65 % of male employment and 49 % of woman employment.
However
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
agriculture
Correct article usage
the agriculture
show examples
 rate is alarmingly low, with just 3 % of
men
Use synonyms
 and a mere 1 % of women, working in
this
Linking Words
 sector. Notably, the percentage of both employees' counterparts in the
industry
Use synonyms
 stands at 32 % and 11 %, respectively,indicating that male engagement was
higher
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
three times
more
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
 than female engagement.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words men, industry, agriculture with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 3 times.
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