IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows the population size, birth rate and the death rate of England and Wales from 1700 to 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph below shows the population size, birth rate and the death rate of England and Wales from 1700 to 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The provided graph presents data on the population size, rates of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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death and birth of Wales throughout a
300-year-period
Correct your spelling
300-year period
, from 1700 to 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that the death
rate
Use synonyms
reduced
Add a missing verb
was reduced
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,
birth
Correct article usage
the birth
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rate
Use synonyms
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
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 and the population size in 2000
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 7 times more than the one in 1700. As for the death
rate
Use synonyms
, by the end of
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
graph
Add a comma
graph,
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 there is a dramatic decline in it;
however
Linking Words
, unfortunately, it started in 1700 and
has
Unnecessary verb
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witnessed
some
Correct determiner usage
a
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 serious surge in 1750 which stayed at the same value for about 50 years but
then
Linking Words
 dropped down to its original value in 1800. After
the
Remove the article
apply
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another
50 year
Add a hyphen
50-year
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 period, it diminished to exactly 20
million
Use synonyms
 in 1950
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and kept
the
Change preposition
at the
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 same
rate
Use synonyms
 until 2000. And
finally
Linking Words
,
birth
Correct article usage
the birth
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rate
Use synonyms
initially
Linking Words
 was at the
rate
Use synonyms
 of 30
million
Use synonyms
 people and
nevertheless
Linking Words
, after some fluctuation, it flew to 35
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 but
then
Linking Words
 decreased to 25
million
Use synonyms
 in 1950 and had a surge in 2000 to 35
million
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words rate, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "surge" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuations
  • stabilize
  • steep
  • advancements
  • notable
  • shift
  • norms
  • impact
  • critical factor
  • relatively stable
  • Industrial Revolution
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