IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the distribution of different income groups in cities and regional centres of Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#distribution #income #groups #cities #centres #australia #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The graph provides the distribution of different yearly
income
 groups in
cities
 and regional
centres
 of Australia.
Overall
, lower
middle
 and
middle
income
 groups are the majority groups
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 both
cities
 and regional
centres
;
however
,
low
Add a hyphen
low-income
show examples
income
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 are the minority in the
cities
whereas
high
Add a hyphen
high-income
show examples
income
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 are the minority in the regional
centres
. In the
cities
, most of
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
 fall into the
middle
income
group
 that earns $70,000 - $120,000 which is 35% of the total
population
. Followed by
lower
Add an article
a lower
the lower
show examples
middle
group
 that earns $40,000-$70,000 with 30% of the total
population
.
Then
,
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
high
Add a hyphen
high-income
show examples
income
group
 that earns $120,000 or more that
consist
Correct subject-verb agreement
consists
show examples
 of 20% of the total
population
.
Lastly
, the
low
Add a hyphen
low-income
show examples
income
group
 that earns $40,000 or less with the remaining 15%. Meanwhile, in the regional
centres
,
lower
Correct article usage
the lower
show examples
middle
Add a hyphen
middle-income
show examples
income
group
 hold the majority with around 35% of the total
population
.
Secondly
, the
middle
Add a hyphen
middle-income
show examples
income
group
 with around 27%.
Thirdly
, the
low
Add a hyphen
low-income
show examples
income
group
 with around 23%.
Lastly
, the
high
Add a hyphen
high-income
show examples
income
group
 with the remaining 15%.
Submitted by mthariqmakarim on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "lastly".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words income, cities, centres, middle, group, population with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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