The line graph below shows the population size, birth rate and the death rate of England and Wales from 1700 to 2000. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph shows the
population
size
,
birth
rate
, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
death
rate
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
England and Wales from 1700 to 2000.
Population
size
and birthrate
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
seen an
increase
,
whereas
death
Correct article usage
the death
show examples
rate
has experienced the opposite. Apart from a slight dip during 1750-1800, the
population
size
in England and Wales experienced significant growth, from around less than 5 million in 1750 to 50 million in 2000. It increased the most between the years of 1850 and 1950, more than quadrupling its
size
.
Birth
rate
,
however
, has not seen
such
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
, experiencing both growth, during 1700-1750 and 1950-2000, and
decline
Correct article usage
a decline
show examples
, in 1800-1950. Ultimately,
birth
Add an article
the birth
show examples
rate
increased from 60,000 in 1700 to around 70,000 in 2000.
Lastly
,
death
Correct article usage
the death
show examples
rate
only
experience
Change the verb form
experiences
show examples
an
increase
during 1700-1750. Ever since
then
, the
death
rate
has seen
steady
Add an article
a steady
show examples
decline, eventually leveling off in 1950 with a decrease from 50 thousand in 1700 to 40 thousand in 2000. In conclusion, only
population
size
has seen a steep
increase
, increasing
almost
Change preposition
by almost
show examples
50 million.
While
the
birth
rate
has only seen slight growth with only a 15%
increase
.
Conversely
, the
death
rate
has decreased
20
Change preposition
by 20
show examples
% from its initial data in 1700.
Submitted by mthariqmakarim on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 92%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words population, size, birth, rate, death, increase with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 7 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: