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Band 4.5

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010.

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010.
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The pie charts
illustarte
Correct your spelling
illustrate
 the percentages of British pupils at a university in England who were able to speak other languages
in addition
Linking Words
 to English, in 2000 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, three major languages
involving
Verb problem
apply
show examples
French, German, and Spanish
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 shown in the graphs. What stands out from the charts is that Spanish was the most trending second language among the others in
mentioned
Correct article usage
the mentioned
show examples
 years. If we look at the details, one-fifth of the students in 2000 used to know no other language than English.
Subsequentely
Correct your spelling
Subsequently
, the
number
Use synonyms
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
saw a considerable decrease to one-tenth by 2010.
This
Linking Words
 might be caused by an awareness
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the importance of being bilingual. The
number
Use synonyms
 of German speakers was
exaclly
Correct your spelling
exactly
 the same in both years.
Although
Linking Words
 Spanish was the most popular one, it experienced a 5% decrease in the
number
Use synonyms
 of pupils from 2000 to 2010. The
number
Use synonyms
 of
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 language
speaker
Fix the agreement mistake
speakers
show examples
 were nearly the same in 2000 and 2010 with 15% and 20% respectively.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, more students tended to speak French in 2010 than
2000
Change preposition
in 2000
show examples
.
Finally
Linking Words
, the proportion of those who speak two other languages saw a mild increase to 15% in 2010.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportions
  • British students
  • university
  • speaking other languages
  • language proficiency
  • overall trends
  • comparison
  • 2000
  • 2010
  • chart
  • data
  • percentage
  • significant
  • increase
  • decrease
  • noteworthy
  • comparative analysis
  • improvement
  • decline
  • conclusion
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