Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

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Social media is becoming an essential part of our existence. Most of the
people
around the world use social networks daily and the amount of them are located in large countries, where individuals learn about one another through them. We can use them in order to find a job, new
people
around us, and some communications that are necessary for us.
Firstly
, we could share news with our friends, relatives, and other
people
that might be interested in them. Social media can be a platform where
people
can creatively express themselves to a wider audience.
This
can lead to opportunities for gaining money throughout a platform.
Nevertheless
, system errors are not the only factors that may lead to dangers in our personal
life
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lives
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. Human mistakes could
also
cause personal information to get leaked.
This
could be
due to
clumsy actions and decisions, or a lack of security within the system.
Moreover
, most platforms require our personal information and details,
for example
, government name, address, date of birth, and so on. Companies claim that they would not use
this
information to their benefit
,
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and that they are stored safely in the cloud. Despite that, it raises suspicions and questions about the integrity of the company. Especially, for the companies that had a security breach prior. In conclusion, the integrity and safety of online platforms' security are still questioned
due to
many incidents.
However
, our careless actions could
also
result in the same consequences.
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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. Detailed examples will help strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next. Consider using linking words and phrases to enhance flow.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the discussion well.
task achievement
Addresses the prompt well by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of social media.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social media platforms
  • Connectivity
  • Self-expression
  • Creativity
  • Global communication
  • Instantaneous communication
  • Personal growth
  • Career advancement
  • Privacy concerns
  • Identity theft
  • Cyberbullying
  • Addiction
  • Productivity
  • Misinformation
  • Crisis
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