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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph shows the electricity production in France between 1980 and 2010

The graph shows the electricity production in France between 1980 and 2010
#electricity #production #france
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This
Linking Words
 graph gives information about how much production of electricity in the same country, namely France, in the years 1980 and 2012.
Overall
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, there are four sources
called
Verb problem
apply
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thermal, nuclear, hydroelectric, and renewable. Thermal and renewable showed a rise
while
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 the period other two sources
experiences
Wrong verb form
experienced
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downward
Correct article usage
a downward
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 trend. It is known that in early 1980, nuclear didn't illustrate lows but not the highest rate among others.
Initially
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, it was almost 60 TvH and rising significantly until 2005
and
Correct word choice
apply
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witnessing a minimum decline and achieving 400 TvH, which was the biggest number compared to
other
Correct article usage
the other
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 three sources. Renewable products remained unchanged until 2000.
After
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this
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 year, it increased slightly. In 1980, renewables
were
Verb problem
had
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 the lowest rate among electricity products.
Although
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 they had a rise, they didn't lose their degree.
In
Change the preposition
At
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 the beginning of the
period
Add a comma
period,
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 a determined restaurant was the largest
ways
Fix the agreement mistake
way
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 120 TWH. Still at the climate noticeably and reaching
to
Change preposition
apply
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50TWH Hydroelectric was roughly 70TWH in
in
Remove the redundancy
apply
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1980, By 2010 it went down slightly.
Firstly
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, thermal was more than hydroelectric
this
Linking Words
 situation
change
Wrong verb form
changed
show examples
 to its opposite.
Submitted by Writing9 on

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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