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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows the number of temporary migrant worker in four countries in 2003 and 2006 and the number of these workers per 1,000 people in these countries in 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the number of temporary migrant worker in four countries in 2003 and 2006 and the number of these workers per 1,000 people in these countries in 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The table above
depict
Change the verb form
depicts
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 the number of migrant workers temporarily in four different countries between
years
Correct article usage
the years
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 2003 and 2006.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the USA was consistently
as
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apply
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a country that has
most
Correct article usage
the most
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 migrant workers among other countries. Meanwhile, New
Zealend
Correct your spelling
Zealand
 was the
least
Correct your spelling
last
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 country that
has
Wrong verb form
had
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 migrant workers. In 2003, Australia
has
Wrong verb form
had
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 as many as 152.000 migrant staff.
Then
Linking Words
, sharply jumped to 219.000.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the average was 10.7 migrant staff per 1000 people in 2006.
Besides
Linking Words
 that, the total number of migrant staff in New Zealand was around 65.000. After that, slightly increased to 87.000. The average was about 21.1.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the United Kingdom started with 137.000 migrant
employee
Change to a plural noun
employees
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. Afterwards, dramatically soared to 266.000. Per 1000 people in 2006, there was 4.4 migrant
employee
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employees
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. Later, in 2003, the United States
has
Wrong verb form
had
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 577.000 migrant
employee
Change to a plural noun
employees
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while
Linking Words
 the number constantly surged to 678.000. Not only that
,
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apply
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 but
also
Linking Words
 the average was 2.3

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • temporary migrant workers
  • trends
  • absolute numbers
  • per 1,000 people
  • growth rate
  • per capita
  • labor markets
  • economies
  • significant
  • imply
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