IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The given below pie chart shows the cultural and leisure Activities amongst boys’ and girls’. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.write at least 150 words.

The given below pie chart shows the cultural and leisure Activities amongst boys’ and girls’. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.write at least 150 words.
#leisure #activities #boys’ #girls’ #summarise #information #features
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THE GIVEN PIE CHARTS COMPARE THE RESULTS OF BOYS' AND GIRLS' CULTURE AND LEISURE ACTIVITIES.
OVERALL
,
IT IS CLEAR THAT
 THE MOST POPULAR ACTIVITY
ISCOMPUTER
Correct your spelling
IS COMPUTER
GAMES
 AMONG BOYS,
WHILE
 THE THAT OF GIRLS IS DANCING.
ACCORDING TO
SURVEY
Correct article usage
THE SURVEY
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, BOYS'
THE
Correct article usage
apply
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MOST
PREFERABLE
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PREFERRED
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 ACTIVITY IS COMPUTER
GAMES
 AT 34%, AND THE SECOND ONE IS BASKETBALL
26
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AT 26
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%. THE
PERCENTAGES
Fix the agreement mistake
PERCENTAGE
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 FOR SOCCER IS TWO TIMES LESS THAN THAT OF COMPUTER
GAMES
 AT 17%.
HOWEVER
, LISTENING TO MUSIC AND SKATEBOARDING IS AROUND THE ONE-TENTH BEING 10% AND 11% RESPECTIVELY. THE LEAST FAVORED ACTIVITY IS READING JUST
BEING
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AT 2%. TURNING TO
GIRLS'
Correct article usage
THE GIRLS'
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 SURVEY, DANCING IS BY FAR THE MOST POPULAR OF THE SIX
CATEGORY
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CATEGORIES
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 OF ACTIVITIES
SLIGHT
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SLIGHTLY
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 OVER ONE-QUARTER AT 26% AND READING IS AROUND APPROXIMATELY ONE-FIFTH. COMPUTER
GAMES
 AND NETBALL ARE 16% AND 15% RESPECTIVELY. LISTENING TO MUSIC AND
GAMES
 ARE NEARLY
TO
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10%.
Submitted by afaaslanova07 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words games with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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