IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph shows the percentage of male and female academic staff members across the facilities of a major university in 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feature and make comparisons where relevant.

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THE BAR GRAPH COMPARES GENDERS' ACADEMIC STAFF PERCENTAGES IN FACULTIES IN 2012.
OVERALL
Linking Words
,
IT IS CLEAR THAT
Linking Words
ENGINNERING
Correct your spelling
ENGINEERING
 WAS THE MOST POPULAR AMONG
MALES
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,
WHILE
Linking Words
 THAT OF WAS THE LEAST
PREFFERED
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PREFERRED
 AMONG
FEMALES
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 AND THE OPPOSITE TREND WAS TRUE FOR EDUCATION. LOOKING INTO MORE DETAILS, ENGINEERING WAS BY FAR THE MOST POPULAR
BETWEEN
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AMONG
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 ALL FACULTIES APPROXIMATELY
AT
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apply
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85%
WHILE
Linking Words
FEMALES
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WAS
Correct subject-verb agreement
WERE
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 WELL BELOW
AT
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apply
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20%. FIGURES
OF
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FOR
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MALES
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 WERE THE SAME IN BOTH
SCIENDE
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SCIENCE
 AND BUSINESS SLIGHTLY ABOVE
AT
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apply
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60%,
WHILE
Linking Words
THAT
Correct determiner usage
THOSE
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OF
Change preposition
FOR
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FEMALES
Use synonyms
 WERE THE SAME APPROXIMATELY BEING AT 38%. TURNING TO OTHER FACULTIES, PERCENTAGES FOR BOTH GENDERS WERE THE SAME AT 50%. THE RATIO OF EDUCATION FOR
MALES
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WERE
Change the verb form
WAS
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 THE LEAST FAVORED AMONG OTHER CATEGORIES NEARLY AT 22%,
WHILE
Linking Words
AN
Correct article usage
THE
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 OPPOSITE TREND WAS TRUE FOR
FEMALES
Use synonyms
. FEMALE MEMBERS OF ARTS WERE MORE THAN HALF AND THAT OF
MALES
Use synonyms
 WERE LESS THAN.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words males, females with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender distribution
  • faculty
  • academic staff
  • proportion
  • disparity
  • trends
  • significance
  • broader societal trends
  • gender equality
  • university environment
  • implications
  • predominantly
  • minority
  • skewed
  • equal representation
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