Some people have argued that video games are a waste of time, and people should spend their time and money on better hobbies. Do the advantages of video games outweigh the disadvantages ?

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There is no denying the fact that
video
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games
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becoming
popualr
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popular
these days.
While
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it is a commonly held belief that some
people
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advocating
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advocate
show examples
that
video
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games
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are considered
waste
Add an article
a waste
show examples
of
time
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, there is
also
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an argument that
encouraging
Wrong verb form
encourages
show examples
to spend
time
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and money on better hobbies.
this
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essay will analyze
this
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topic from both points of view and express my opinion.
To begin
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with,
video
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games
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are not designed for a
sepcific
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specific
age
but
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apply
show examples
in
fact
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fact,
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even elderly
people
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are
intersted
Correct your spelling
interested
in playing
video
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games
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.
In other words
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, various types of
people
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playing
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play
show examples
video
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games
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such
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as shooting and
advanture
Correct your spelling
adventure
games
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.
In addition
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, there are some international events that allocate a huge budget for the development of
video
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games
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.
For example
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, Saudi Arabia
have
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has
show examples
an international
video
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Use synonyms
games
Fix the agreement mistake
game
show examples
league with a massive prize for the winner. On
other
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the other
show examples
hand,
people
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who
considered
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consider
show examples
video
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games
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as a waste of
time
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and money believe that
the
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apply
show examples
hobbies must include some physical
activites
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activities
activity
to be beneficial. It is
also
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possible to say that, they think these
games
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destroy the brain cells and encourage young
people
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to act in
Correct article usage
a violence
show examples
violence
Replace the word
violent
show examples
manner. For
inctance
Correct your spelling
instance
, shooting and hunting
games
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will teach them how to use different types of weapons to kill
people
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and animals. In conclusion, there is no easy answer to
this
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question. On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that spending spare
time
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on
video
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games
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
beneficial, and we must give the utmost care
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
the development of
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video
Correct article usage
the video
show examples
games
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sector to
enhanse
Correct your spelling
enhance
the
intertainment
Correct your spelling
entertainment
sector.
However
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, various types of hobbies must
including
Wrong verb form
be included
show examples
in your spare
time
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schedule to increase the development of your mental and physical skills.
Submitted by omima7a7md on

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task achievement
To improve the task response, aim to address the prompt more directly by clearly stating your stance in the introduction. This can be achieved by explicitly mentioning whether you believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages and previewing your main points.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and develops one main idea. Use clear transitions between points and paragraphs to guide the reader smoothly from one idea to the next.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant examples, such as the international video games league in Saudi Arabia, which strengthen the argument about the increasing popularity and serious involvement in video games.
coherence cohesion
The essay effectively outlines both perspectives on video games, which demonstrates an understanding of the issue's complexity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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