IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevent.

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevent.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given bar chart illustrates the
share
Use synonyms
 of
males
Use synonyms
 and females among the five age
groups
Use synonyms
 in Australia who had regular physical
activity
Use synonyms
 in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
men
Use synonyms
 were less active than
women
Use synonyms
 except in the 15 to 24 years old
group
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, nearly the same
share
Use synonyms
 of
males
Use synonyms
 and females in the 65 and over
group
Use synonyms
 did physical
activity
Use synonyms
. Females in the 45 to 54
group
Use synonyms
 had the highest proportion, and
males
Use synonyms
 in the 35 to 44
group
Use synonyms
 had the lowest proportion. It is clearly seen that
women
Use synonyms
 in all categories did more regular physical
activity
Use synonyms
 than
men
Use synonyms
 except for the 15 to 24
group
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
share
Use synonyms
 of
women
Use synonyms
 who did physical
activity
Use synonyms
 in the 15 to 24, 25 to 34, 35 to 44, and 45 to 54
groups
Use synonyms
 grew constantly,
then
Linking Words
 it decreased in the 55 to 64 and 65 and over
groups
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
women
Use synonyms
 in the 45 to 54
group
Use synonyms
 had the highest
share
Use synonyms
 with 53.3 percent, and
this
Linking Words
group
Use synonyms
 had the biggest difference from
men
Use synonyms
. It is evident that the percentage of
men
Use synonyms
 in the 15 to 24, 25 to 34, and 35 to 44
groups
Use synonyms
 declined continuously, but in the 45 to 54, 55 to 64, and 65 and over
groups
Use synonyms
, it rose. Afterwards, the lowest percentage of the
group
Use synonyms
 is
males
Use synonyms
 35 to 44 years old.
Also
Linking Words
,
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 in the 65 and over
group
Use synonyms
 had roughly the same percentage, which is 46.7 and 47.1
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, respectively.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words share, males, groups, activity, men, women, group with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: