(2024) You are a college student in an English speaking country. You share a rented apartment with others but want to move to the college accommodation instead. Write a letter to the teacher in charge of the hostel and explain your intention to move to college accommodation. In your letter: introduce yourself give reasons why you are not happy with the current accommodation explain why you think college accommodation will be better for you

#college #student #english #country #apartment #move #accommodation #teacher #charge #hostel #intention

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Dear sir or madam I am Muhammad Umar and

recently

Correct pronoun usage

I recently

show examples

transferred to

this

Linking Words

college a week before, I am writing

this

Linking Words

letter because I am

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

facing

Remove the article

apply

show examples

trouble which is making me uncomfortable here and it is

also

Linking Words

Correct your spelling

affecting

show examples

effecting

Correct your spelling

affecting

show examples

mine

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

education and my sleep cycle I just came here

new

Correct your spelling

now

show examples

so a lot of students were curious regarding their

accommodation

Use synonyms

. As a student of course all of us decided to rent an apartment because it was costing us cheap and reliable and as a

newcomer

Add a comma

newcomer,

show examples

I felt the same.

Linking Words

However

Add a comma

However,

show examples

after spending

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

weeks

Add a comma

weeks,

show examples

I realized that I

can't

Wrong verb form

couldn't

show examples

stay comfortable

under

Change preposition

show examples

a bunch of small

crowd

Change to a plural noun

crowds

show examples

. I prefer a peaceful

accommodation

Use synonyms

so I can become

Change the article

the

show examples

best version of myself in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

academics because I like to study alone and need my own privacy. After putting

this

Linking Words

matter under consideration I

finally

Linking Words

concluded that college

accommodation

Use synonyms

will suit me perfectly as l have

Change the article

show examples

introvert

Replace the word

introverted

show examples

personality and I prefer to focus on myself and my academics. I hope you will take my request into consideration because I am very disturbed

due to

Linking Words

not having a peaceful

accommodation

Use synonyms

Yours Muhammad Umar

Submitted by umarilyas121 on Sun Dec 01 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Consider expanding your introduction to include a brief sentence about your academic interests or how long you plan to stay at the college.

coherence cohesion

Improve coherence by carefully checking for grammatical errors and ensuring that each sentence logically follows from the last.

task achievement

You've provided clear reasons for wanting to move into college accommodation.

coherence cohesion

The letter has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, enhancing its logical structure.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

7.5

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

7.5

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

8 paragraphs

192 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Some people believe that range of technology currently is increasing gap between rich and poor people. Others think that it is causing opposite . Discuss both views and give your opinion.
According to the statement from the United Nations, especially the UNDP, the gap between the rich and poor widens. From that, I believe that the range of technology gap between the high and low class enlarged. Nowadays, it can be seen that technology varies more, hence the prices of the types of technology increases. For example, the technology named VR cost more than an android phone year 2019, making the tech unreachable for the poor.
4.5
band
Some people believe that to reduce the amount of time people spend commuting (travelling to work), parks and gardens close to city centres should be replaced by apartment buildings for commuters to live in. However, others disagree with this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It has been an enigmatic quandary as to whether the parks and gardens in urban city are essential for people. However, it is explicit that the park plays a essential role in city. The scope and breadth of decreasing traffic jams and basic requirements are two paragons that reverberates such a theme.
6.5
band
information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace. Do the benefits of this mobility outweighs the disadvantages? Give reasonsfor yours answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience
The recent experience has raised a new work ethic known as working from home. Despite some of the drawbacks, I firmly believe that the benefits outweigh the disadvantages. This essay will explore the benefits and drawbacks of working on mobility with reasoned examples.
5
band
Countries around the world will be facing significant challenges related not only to the environment, but pollution and education as well. What problems your country will face in next years.
In this cutting-edge era,most companies are facing various problems,it may be related to poverty, education ,and unemployment.However ,nations across the globe suffering the important challenges,which is not regarding the environment,but the contamination and schooling as well.This essay will articulate predominant issues facing by our country in coming year,along with a relevant conclusion.
5
band
Government spending on restoration of old buildings in cities should be stopped. Instead they should spend the money for housing and road development. Do you agree or disagree
There has been a recent debate about whether governments should spend the funds on further developments of roads and houses instead of the restoration of old monuments. Although I think it has both pros and cons and this essay explores my views with relevant epitome and well-defined conclusions .

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people believe that range of technology currently is increasing gap between rich and poor people. Others think that it is causing opposite . Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that to reduce the amount of time people spend commuting (travelling to work), parks and gardens close to city centres should be replaced by apartment buildings for commuters to live in. However, others disagree with this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace. Do the benefits of this mobility outweighs the disadvantages? Give reasonsfor yours answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Countries around the world will be facing significant challenges related not only to the environment, but pollution and education as well. What problems your country will face in next years.

Government spending on restoration of old buildings in cities should be stopped. Instead they should spend the money for housing and road development. Do you agree or disagree