IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
#unemployment #rates #japan #march #report #university #lecturer #information
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The line graph illustrates the layoff
rates
 in
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 and
Japan
 throughout
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
 from
March
 1993 to 1995.
Overall
 there's
significantly
Correct article usage
a significantly
show examples
 decreased
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the employment
rates
 in
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
otherwise
 the demotion
rates
 in
japan
Capitalize word
Japan
show examples
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
upward
Add an article
an upward
show examples
 trend. In
March
 1993, the layoff
rates
 in
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
is
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 three
time
Change to a plural noun
times
show examples
 doubled than
Change preposition
in japan
show examples
japan
Capitalize word
Japan
show examples
 and slowly
drop
Wrong verb form
dropped
show examples
 until it's fluctuated in
March
 1994 - 1995. In
march
Capitalize word
March
show examples
 1996 the employment rate is relatively
slump
Wrong verb form
slumped
show examples
 to its lowest in 1999. In
March
 1993, the employment rate in
Japan
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
began to jump
doubled
Wrong verb form
double
show examples
 by the following year and the trend
keep
Wrong verb form
kept
show examples
 rising until its slightly down in 1995. In 1996 there's a small decrease but
then
grow
Correct subject-verb agreement
grows
show examples
 and
reach
Correct subject-verb agreement
reaches
show examples
 its highest level in 1998 before the trend
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
slightly
drop
Correct subject-verb agreement
drops
show examples
 in 1999.
Submitted by lyakomarudin on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words rates, japan, march with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • unemployment rates
  • graph
  • trend
  • changes
  • comparison
  • contrast
  • findings
  • observations
  • data
  • statistics
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