The chart shows the different levels of post-school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men and women who held them in 1999. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart shows the different levels of post-school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men and women who held them in 1999. 

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart above depicts the various levels of post-school qualifications in Australia and the proportion between males and females in 1999.
Overall
, it can be seen that females were only dominating in two qualifications
while
the rest was
dominating
Change the form of the verb
dominated
show examples
by males.
First,
there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
a big gap in skilled vocational
diploma
Fix the agreement mistake
diplomas
show examples
between
men
and
women
. The percentage of
women
just
Add a missing verb
was just
show examples
about 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
while
the
men
were 80 per
cent
.
Furthermore
, in undergraduate
diploma
Fix the agreement mistake
diplomas
show examples
,
women
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
a high percentage, which was 70 per
cent
.
On the other hand
,
men
just around 35 per
cent
.
Moreover
, in
bachelor's
Correct article usage
the bachelor's
show examples
degree, the gap was not too far.
Women
and
men
had
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
as many as 50 per
cent
and 45 per
cent
, respectively.
Besides
that, the average of females who took
postgraduate
Correct article usage
a postgraduate
show examples
diploma was 30 per
cent
. Meanwhile, the
males
Correct quantifier usage
number of males
show examples
was extremely higher to 70 per
cent
.
Last
, the girls were approximately 40 per
cent
who took
masters
Change noun form
master's
show examples
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
.
On the contrary
, the boys were 60 per
cent
.
Submitted by wishmeluck  on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women, cent with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportion" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Skilled vocational diploma
  • Undergraduate diploma
  • Bachelor’s degree
  • Postgraduate diploma
  • Master’s degree
  • Proportion
  • Gender disparities
  • Educational trends
  • Equal representation
  • Workforce demands
  • Societal norms
  • Significant equalities
  • Dominated by
  • Reflecting
  • Opportunities
  • Implications
What to do next:
Look at other essays: