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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below shows the quantities of goods transported in the UK between 1974 and 2002 by four different modes of transport.

The graph below shows the quantities of goods transported in the UK between 1974 and 2002 by four different modes of transport.
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The line graph demonstrates the number of goods delivered to the UK through road, water,rail and pipelines between 1974 and 2002
Overall
Linking Words
 the most transportation used to deliver goods was through roads within approximately 28 years period,
while
Linking Words
 the
least
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last
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 method for transportation was via Pipelines in the same period from 1974 until 2002. Around 70
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
transferred
Add a missing verb
were transferred
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 to
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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 in 1974 through Road, with a minimal fluctuation for about 5 years approximately from 1977 to 1982.A gradual increase happened from around 70
million
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tonnes
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 to 80
million
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tonnes
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 in 1990. In 2002, the number of
tonnes
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 transported by road was about 90
million
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tonnes
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 which shows the highest number of
tonnes
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 ever transferred. In comparison, the Pipeline was the least transporting
tonnes
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 from 1974 to 2002. Pipelines transported approximately 7000
tonnes
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 in 1975, with a gradual rise until 1982. In conclusion, the most effective way of transporting
tonnes
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 to the UK is through roads

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words million, tonnes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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