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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000 Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The charts below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000 Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
#show #percentages #men #women #employment #four #countries #summaries #information #features #comparison
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The two charts illustrate the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of employed males and
famales
Correct your spelling
females
 aged from 60 to 64 in four different countries (Japan, the
USA
Use synonyms
, Belgium and
Australia
Use synonyms
) in two different years 1970 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
,
men
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 had
significantly
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a significantly
show examples
 higher
percentage
Use synonyms
 of employment than
women
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. It is clear from the first bar charts that in 1970,
men
Use synonyms
 had
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
percentage
Use synonyms
 of employment than in the
year
Use synonyms
 2000.
However
Linking Words
, in the
USA
Use synonyms
 and
Australia
Use synonyms
, more
women
Use synonyms
 were employed in 2000 than in 1970.
According to
Linking Words
 the first bar chart, in Belgium, only 79% of
men
Use synonyms
 were employed in 1970.
However
Linking Words
, in 2000,
this
Linking Words
percentage
Use synonyms
 experienced a significant decline, which was only 19%. In
Australia
Use synonyms
, 76% of
men
Use synonyms
 were employed in 1970, and in the
year
Use synonyms
 2000, it reduced and 47% of
men
Use synonyms
 were employed. In the second bar chart, in the
USA
Use synonyms
, 36% of
women
Use synonyms
 had employment in the
year
Use synonyms
 1970, and it slightly increased in the
year
Use synonyms
 2000, which was 39%.
Similarly
Linking Words
, in
Australia
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, in 1970, 16% of females were employed and in 2000, it slightly increased and showed 18% of
women
Use synonyms
 were employed.
However
Linking Words
, In the
USA
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, 36% of females were employed in 1970, and in the
year
Use synonyms
 2000,
in
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
 increased and 39% of
women
Use synonyms
 were employed.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, usa, australia, men, women, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Employment rate
  • Percentage
  • Significant increase/decrease
  • Fluctuation
  • Gender disparity
  • Trend
  • Decline
  • Improvement
  • Variation
  • Noteworthy
  • Aligned
  • Comparative analysis
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