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Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.
#consumption #fish #kinds #meat #european #country #summarise #information #features
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The line chart
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 the
conumption
Correct your spelling
consumption
 of chicken and
differnt
Correct your spelling
different
 types of
meat
 in
europe
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Europe
show examples
 countries between 1979 and 2004. The
unites
Replace the word
units
show examples
 are measured in
grams
 per
person
 per week.
Overall
,
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 clear to say that chickens are elevated strongly increased.
However
, the other three
soureces
Correct your spelling
sources
 of
meat
 have decreased
respectivly
Correct your spelling
respectively
. Based on what
it
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 shown in the graph, in 1979
people
 consumed around 150
grams
 per
person
, but
then
it's
Unnecessary verb
it
show examples
 dramatically
inreased
Correct your spelling
increased
 until 1994, and
then
 it reached
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
 peak in 2004 by nearly 250
grams
.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
humens
Correct your spelling
humans
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
also
 consumed 220
grams
 of beef in 1979
then
 it suddenly
decresed
Correct your spelling
decreased
 in the early 80s but
at the end
 of
80s
Correct article usage
the 80s
show examples
people
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
consumed more so the percentage went up at the time.
However
, it didn't
last
 long so it went deep down to 100
grams
 per
person
 in 2004. In terms of
lamb
 and fish, in 1979
people
 consumed 150
grams
 of
lamb
in addition
 they have consumed nearly 60
grams
 of fish,
According to
 what it
shown
Add the auxiliary verb
was shown
show examples
,
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time. the line graph for fish consumption
its
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
basically
Change the adverb
basic
show examples
 fluctuation
therefore
Add the comma(s)
, therefore
show examples
, it remains the same until 2004. unlike
lamb
, in 1982 it dropped to 120
grams
 per
person
, and
then
 it got a minor growth
at the end
 of
80s
Correct article usage
the 80s
show examples
furthermore
,
people
 tend to rely more on other sources of
meat
 which led
people
 to
cosume
Correct your spelling
consume
 less
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
lamb
meat
.
Moreover
,
lamb
 consumption
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 downturn to 60
grams
 in 2004.
Submitted by omaralshrf2 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end, however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words meat, grams, person, people, lamb with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • trend
  • poultry
  • beef
  • lamb
  • significant
  • fluctuate
  • peak
  • trough
  • plummet
  • soar
  • steady
  • exponential
  • dietary habits
  • health consciousness
  • food industry
  • innovation
  • cultural shift
  • economic conditions
  • demographic changes
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