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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The line graph shows China's population by age group starting in 1960 and including a forecast to 2040.

The line graph shows China's population by age group starting in 1960 and including a forecast to 2040.
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The line graph provides data on how much China's population by
age
Use synonyms
 group was until 1960 and the changes that are expected to happen before 2050.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the 15-64 and 65+
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
 experienced an upward trend over a span,the 0-14 ages are predicted to drop moderately. Of particular note, the 15-64 ages see a fluctuation. Looking at increases
first,
Linking Words
the 15-64 and over 65
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
 accounted for about 38% and 6% in the beginning, respectively.
While
Linking Words
 over 65
age
Use synonyms
 experienced a slight growth from around 9% in 1970 to roughly 12% in 2000, the 15-64
age
Use synonyms
 rose sharply, before reaching about 65% in 2000.
In addition
Linking Words
, after a 2-decade period,
however
Linking Words
, 15-64
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
 topped the graph, standing for 70% and over 65 ages still exist exceeding about 12% in 2010, expecting to reach roughly 20% in 2040.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
15-64
age
Use synonyms
 which
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 forecasted to decline by about 60% in 2030, experienced a moderate drop to just over 52.5%, the 65+
age
Use synonyms
 group is predicted to show a significant rise to roughly 25% in the final year. The pattern change
inthe
Correct your spelling
in the
 0-14
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
 was a far cry from the rest,
however
Linking Words
.
While
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 group stood at around 45%, being higher than the others in the initial year. Yet, it started to decline gradually to about 40%, 30%, and 22% in 1980, 2000, and 2020, respectively.
Similarly
Linking Words
, in the future, it will
also
Linking Words
 continue to fall slightly, reaching roughly 20% in 2030.
Also
Linking Words
,
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period, it ended with a small drop to 17.5%, before reaching over 17.5% in 2040.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, however, while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, groups with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stand" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "moderately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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