Is it a good thing if senior management workers in a company get a much higher salary than other workers in same company.Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In many companies, the senior management earns significantly higher wages compared to their subordinates.
While
Linking Words
some argue that the disparity in their salary can be justified
due to
Linking Words
their responsibilities and expertise, others
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
that
this
Linking Words
creates an imbalance within the workforce community. I strongly agree with the
later
Correct your spelling
latter
show examples
perspective. And
this
Linking Words
essay will
further
Linking Words
explore
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the central reason behind
this
Linking Words
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, individuals who work in the lower-level sector might be underpaid by the companies despite having to work
two
Correct your spelling
twice
show examples
times much more than their
superior
Fix the agreement mistake
superiors
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, people who are in the marketing department will have to put in more effort
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to promote their products to bring in revenue
while
Linking Words
those who are in the executive branch will only focus on the internal matters of the enterprise.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the difference in earnings can be a huge issue as it will lead to discrimination of the salaries.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, most
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
seniors in
todays
Correct your spelling
today
took
Wrong verb form
have taken
show examples
advantage of their own
position
Fix the agreement mistake
positions
show examples
to pass down their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
to their junior
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
to complete their
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
. To illustrate,
survey
Add an article
a survey
the survey
show examples
has shown that from the year 2000 to
this
Linking Words
day,
blue-collared
Correct your spelling
blue-collar
show examples
worker
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
being forced to execute the work of their bosses and when it is not done correctly, they will receive punishment
such
Linking Words
as deducting their monthly pay.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, the inconsistency in pay can exacerbate resentment leading to a toxic workplace.
To conclude
Linking Words
, having parity in the distribution of
earning
Fix the agreement mistake
earnings
show examples
is crucial as it not only
benefit
Change the verb form
benefits
show examples
the enterprise itself, but
also
Linking Words
to the community and the society.
Submitted by anakin999 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Your essay demonstrates an understanding of the task by addressing the prompt directly. However, try to develop your argument more fully by delving deeper into the consequences of the salary disparity.
Task Achievement
The main points in your essay are clear, but they could be better supported with more specific examples or explanations to showcase the imbalance you mention.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay exhibits a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, work on improving the connection between ideas to strengthen coherence and cohesion, ensuring that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument and giving a strong structure to the discussion.
Task Achievement
You demonstrate a good understanding of the topic and clearly express your viewpoint on salary disparities between different levels of management.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • hierarchy
  • responsibility
  • accountability
  • strategic decision-making
  • leadership
  • attraction
  • retention
  • highly skilled
  • experienced professionals
  • motivation
  • reward
  • experience
  • contributions
  • inequality
  • morale
  • productivity
  • performance-driven
  • compensation
  • pay gap
  • result-oriented
What to do next:
Look at other essays: