Many employees may work at home with modern technology. Some people claim that it benefits only the workers, but not the employers. Do you agree or disagree?

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Alot
Correct your spelling
A lot
of the
region
Replace the word
regional
show examples
population
quote
Verb problem
say
show examples
that working from your place of stay only pleases the blue
workers
and it doesn't benefit the employers
itself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
, I find it
absurrd
Correct your spelling
absurd
because the
realtionship
Correct your spelling
relationship
between the employer and
workers
should state on the mutual benefits
therefore
, I am biased on that, I feel it should be a
work
-space where both needs are taken seriously .Multiple people actually think that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern technology
took
Wrong verb form
has taken
show examples
over and
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that it's more helpful to
work
from home.
In addition
to that with the whole
corona virus
Correct your spelling
coronavirus
show examples
going on
few
Change the article
a few
show examples
years back , many actually felt the need to protect themselves and isolate especially the people who are considered germaphobic .
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
it is controversial because the pandemic was an emergency state we can't all our lives by that fear . Nowadays technology
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
opened to us different gates
as in
Change preposition
to
show examples
simplifying our jobs and the ability to
work
as many
job
Change to a plural noun
jobs
show examples
as possible
for example
, a reseller online ,
white
Add an article
a white
the white
show examples
worker in
morning
Add an article
the morning
show examples
and a tutor on an educational website
this
by far has
overcame
Change the verb form
overcome
show examples
the need to stick to a one job 24/7
moreover
it made our options wide open .
For example
, in the past
decade
Add a comma
decade,
show examples
the availability of being able to
work
online and spend more time with the family is a privilege .
For instance
, there was a research that was done in 2003 by Peter Micheal that talked about how farmers ,white
workers
and anyone who uses any type of transport to load goods have felt obligated to leave
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
family and spend those extra hours at
work
.
However
, few
prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
working behind a desk than online and most of these were just single people with no responsibility.
Finally
, I would like to end
this
with
wheither
Correct your spelling
whether
you
work
from home or in an office it should be an agreement between the employers and
workers
that , it
shouldnt
Correct your spelling
shouldn't
harm the
work
environment.
Submitted by dr.hessahaljalahma on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Aim for logical transitions between ideas to ensure that the essay flows smoothly from one point to the next. For example, linking sentences with clear conjunctions or transitional phrases can be effective.
Coherence & Cohesion
Consider structuring the essay with clear paragraphs for each main idea to improve logical structure, and make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details.
Task Response
Address the opposing viewpoint more clearly and provide counterarguments with specific examples. This will strengthen the task achievement score by showing a balanced perspective.
Task Achievement
While some examples are given, be sure to include more detailed examples to fully support your points and make them more convincing.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and conclusion, providing a clear start and finish to the discussion.
Task Achievement
It touches on the recent impact of the pandemic on workplace dynamics, which adds relevance to the discussion.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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