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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

A bar chart shows the percentage of men and women in Great Britain who had driving licenses and another bar chart shows the percentage of men and women who applied for driving licenses at the age of 17-20. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

A bar chart shows the percentage of men and women in Great Britain who had driving licenses and another bar chart shows the percentage of men and women who applied for driving licenses at the age of 17-20. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The left bar chart describes information about how many
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 have driving certificates throughout the
period
Use synonyms
, and the right one illustrates the gender distribution of drivers between 17 years old and 20 years old in 1996 and 2006.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 both percentages of them have increased
while
Linking Words
 male people tend to possess the license more than female people, and though both figures for licenses in teenagers showed a fall. In detail, in 1976, the percentage of
men
Use synonyms
 who have driving
license
Fix the agreement mistake
licenses
show examples
 started at 70%
whereas
Linking Words
 the figure for
women
Use synonyms
 stood at 30%, recording less than 40% compared to
men
Use synonyms
. During the
period
Use synonyms
, the
statistic
Fix the agreement mistake
statistics
show examples
 about male individuals gradually rose to 80% in 2006.
However
Linking Words
, the figure for
women
Use synonyms
 doubled
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the increase in
women
Use synonyms
 was bigger than that of
men
Use synonyms
, unlike the percentage that was smaller. Regarding the remaining information, the percentage of young
men
Use synonyms
 having a license accounted for 50% in 1996. Meanwhile, in 2006, it slightly dropped by around 5%.
However
Linking Words
, the figure for young
women
Use synonyms
 showed at 30% in 1996 and
also
Linking Words
 decreased to 20% in 2006. Both of them
also
Linking Words
 decreased during the
period
Use synonyms
 but the
women
Use synonyms
 one was larger than the
men
Use synonyms
 one.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • bar chart
  • percentage
  • trend
  • highlight
  • period
  • comparison
  • driving license
  • applicants
  • age group
  • gender difference
  • trend analysis
  • significant differences
  • apply for a license
  • relation
  • overall
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