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Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgroduate students who did not go into full-time woke did after leaving college in 2006. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgroduate students who did not go into full-time woke did after leaving college in 2006. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #uk #graduate #postgroduate #students #college #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar charts provide information about
bachelor
Change noun form
bachelor's
show examples
 and
masters
Change noun form
master's
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 after college who could not get
full time
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 and it
gaved
Correct your spelling
gave
gives
 the number of
students
Use synonyms
 in 4 different
stage
Fix the agreement mistake
stages
show examples
 of
work
Use synonyms
 in 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, the amount of
students
Use synonyms
 who attend to go
further
Linking Words
 study in both graduates and postgraduates are much higher.
Moreover
Linking Words
, voluntary
work
Use synonyms
 reached
th
Correct your spelling
the
 lowest number with a very huge
different
Replace the word
difference
show examples
 to others. The scale of
students
Use synonyms
 significantly dropped in postgraduate charts.The
graduate
Use synonyms
 student who
go
Change the verb form
goes
show examples
 for
Linking Words
further
Add an article
a further
show examples
study
Change the noun form
studies
show examples
 like getting
Correct article usage
a master
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master
Change noun form
master's
show examples
 or direct PHD
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 the highest with 29665 people.
However
Linking Words
, for
graduate
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
students
Add a comma
students,
show examples
 it is 2725
although
Linking Words
 it is the highest number with other segments. The second place goes to part-time
work
Use synonyms
 for both
students
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
who holds
show examples
holds
Correct subject-verb agreement
hold
show examples
graduate
Use synonyms
 and postgraduate. For graduates is it 17,735 and for
postgraduate
Fix the agreement mistake
postgraduates
show examples
 is 2,535. The people who
attent
Correct your spelling
attend
 to
work
Use synonyms
voluntary
Change the word
voluntarily
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 after getting post
graduate
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 faced with a rapid decline
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 approximately about 3000.
Although
Linking Words
 it
consider
Change the verb form
considers
show examples
 as the lowest amount of people who
persueding
Correct your spelling
persuading
.
Submitted by helia on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although, further".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, work, graduate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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