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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The two graphs show the main sources of energy in the USA in the 1980s and the 1990s. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the changes which occurred.

The two graphs show the main sources of energy in the USA in the 1980s and the 1990s. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the changes which occurred.
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The pie chart below illustrates the main sources of
energy
Use synonyms
 in the
USA
Use synonyms
 in 1980 and
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1990.
Overall
Linking Words
, the given data provides information about the percentages of
oil
Use synonyms
,
gas
Use synonyms
, coal,
hidroelectric
Correct your spelling
hydroelectric
power
Use synonyms
 and nuclear
power
Use synonyms
energy
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 in the
USA
Use synonyms
 during 1980 and 1990.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in 1980 in the
USA
Use synonyms
 the main electric
power
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 source was
oil
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 and natural
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gas based
Add a hyphen
gas-based
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
, where
oil
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 had 42%
Change preposition
of
show examples
usage and natural
gas
Use synonyms
 had 26% of
consumption
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.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
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 coal held third place with 22%
also
Linking Words
hidroelectric
Correct your spelling
hydroelectric
 and nuclear
power
Use synonyms
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
5% of
Change the article
the
show examples
main
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
 of
energy
Use synonyms
 in the
USA
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
, from the provided information, in 1990 in the
USA
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oil
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 usage for
energy
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was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
marginally decreased to 33% and natural
gas
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 showed
slight
Add an article
a slight
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 decrease as well.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 in 1990 coal
consumption
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were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased to 27% and nuclear
energy
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was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
doubled as well.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
show examples
hidroelectric
Correct your spelling
hydroelectric
power
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 stayed stable with 5%
consumption
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. Taking
everythng
Correct your spelling
everything
 into
concideration
Correct your spelling
consideration
, in 1990 in the
USA
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oil
Use synonyms
 and
gas
Use synonyms
 usage
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 lower but they still were
main
Change the article
the main
show examples
 source of
energy
Use synonyms
.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 we can see that
Correct article usage
the
show examples
USA
Use synonyms
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
developed nuclear
energy
Use synonyms
 projects and in 1990 in the
USA
Use synonyms
 its
consumtion
Correct your spelling
consumption
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
doubled to 10%.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, usa, oil, gas, power, consumption with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "provides" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sources of energy
  • predominant
  • renewables
  • nuclear
  • significant increases
  • significant decreases
  • technological advancements
  • policy changes
  • trends
  • overall
  • preference
  • shifts
  • implications
  • future energy landscape
  • decades
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