IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#children #families #amounts #money #adult #life #parents
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I do agree
to
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with
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 the statement that
children
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 brought up in poor
families
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 are better prepared to deal with the
problems
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 of
adult
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life
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 than
children
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 brought up
wi
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apply
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by
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with
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 wealthy parents.
Children
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 of poor parents are prematurely exposed to the
problems
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 of
adult
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life
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 eg.
earing
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earning
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 a timing leaming to
survive
Verb problem
live
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 on a low family income and
sacnfiong
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sacrificing
 luxuries for essential items These
children
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begon
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begin
began
 to see the 'realities of
life
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 in their home or Social environment. Their parent's own serve as
an
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a
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 Brample to
them
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their
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 struggles These
children
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 are taught necessary skills for survival as an
adult
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fran
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from
 a very early age. Many
children
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 eg work
in
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at
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 the weekends or holidays to either collect some pocket money or even
coulmhute
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soulmate
to
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apply
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their
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families
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family's
families'
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 income. A good example is many
children
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 who accompany their parents
the
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apply
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to sell produce at the market. They are making a direct
Contribution
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contribution
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 to their
families
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 in
krims
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crimes
rims
 of
labor
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labour
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 or Incoure.
Children
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 of poor
families
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also
Linking Words
 are highly motivated. They tend to set high goals to improve their, situation." A relevant example would be Mr Bill Gates ( founder of Microsoft Corporation) He had an
imporenshed
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impoverished
 background but he used his talent and motivation to set up the
cworld's
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world's
 largest computer organisation.
However
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, there are some
problems
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 that
children
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 from poor backgrounds do encounter. Many of these
children
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 who are
robbed'
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robbed
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 of their childhood
of
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apply
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while
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 working, may feel cheated. They often turn to crime
This
Linking Words
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
, however
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, is a Small
group
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Group
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 In backgrounds summing up, are able
children
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 with
imporenshed
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impoverished
 deal with
problems
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 of
adult
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life
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 because of early exposure, family role
modets
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models
 and sheer motivation.
Submitted by caroot on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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