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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The charts below sjow the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarise the information by selecting ajd reporting main features , and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below sjow the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarise the information by selecting ajd reporting main features , and make comparisons where relevant.
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The graphic displays the distribution of
water
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 used across various sectors in percentage by 6 different
regions
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 in the world - North
America
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, South
America
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,
Europe
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, Africa, Central
Asia
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, and South East
Asia
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, in all the areas, except for North
America
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 and
Europe
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, the main and major
water
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usage
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 is for
agricultural
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the agricultural
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 sector.
While
Linking Words
 households utilize the least portion of
water
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 in those 2 exceptional
regions
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, the least
water
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usage
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 in other
regions
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are
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is
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 for industrial purposes. Regarding the areas in which
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
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 of their hydro resources are allocated to agriculture and farming, Central
Asia
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 occupies the first place with 88% of its
water
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 used by agricultural processes, followed by Africa with 84% and South East
Asia
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 with 81%.
While
Linking Words
 South
America
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 uses 71% of its
water
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 for farming, only 32% to 39% of all
water
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usage
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 is distributed to agriculture in North
America
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 and
Europe
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
regions
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 that used
least
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the least
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 amount of
water
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 for domestic purposes, North
America
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 and
Europe
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, are the ones that spend the most
water
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 for industrial processes , with 13% and 15% respectively. 
On the contrary
Linking Words
, the smallest portion of
overall
Linking Words
water
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usage
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 is for industrial processes in the other
regions
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 whose
the
Correct article usage
apply
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most
water
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 utilizations are for agriculture, ranging from 5 to 12
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, regions, america, europe, asia, usage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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