IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Task 1: The chart below gives information about European people of different age groups who went to a gym once a month or more between 1990 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Task 1: The chart below gives information about European people of different age groups who went to a gym once a month or more between 1990 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #european #people #age #groups #gym #month #summarise #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The chart
illustartes
Correct your spelling
illustrates
 how
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
 time
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
people in various
age
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 in Europe spent
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
gym
Add an article
the gym
show examples
 once a month or more between 1990 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is obvious that both 4
age
Use synonyms
 groups witness an upward trend,
futhermore
Correct your spelling
furthermore
 the
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 of 18 to 24 years old and over is the
group
Use synonyms
 that majority spent
most
Add an article
the most
show examples
 time on
gym
Add an article
the gym
show examples
. Regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the line graph, the
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 of
age
Use synonyms
 45 and over saw to gradual increase from 1990 to 2006,
then
Linking Words
 rose significantly to 22%
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
went
Correct pronoun usage
who went
show examples
 to the gym. The
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 of 35 to 44 years old
also
Linking Words
 has
stight
Correct your spelling
tight
straight
 slightly the same trend when it
grewth
Correct your spelling
grew
growth
 slightly from the beginning to the year 2006 and
then
Linking Words
witness
Wrong verb form
witnessed
show examples
 a dramatic increase to 40% in 2010.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in the
90s
Correct your spelling
'90s
 and 2000s decade, it recorded a noticeable growth from 8% to 50% in the
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 of people between 25 to 34 years old. The
alutt
Correct your spelling
alert
adult
group
Use synonyms
 increased sharply to nearly 60% in 2006,
then
Linking Words
 saw a dip to 50% in 2008 but, after that it rose back to 60%
at the end
Linking Words
.
Submitted by linh.le0995 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, group with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: