IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the UK, the rest of Europe and Japan from 1993 to 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#unemployment #rates #uk #rest #europe #japan #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The line graph gives information about the ratings of jobless people across three countries (
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
,
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
 of Europe, and Japan) commencing 1933 to 2007.
Overall
, there was a considerable fluctuation
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 unemployment ratings across three countries in the given period.
UK
Correct article usage
The UK
show examples
 had the highest number of workless
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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,
this
 was closely followed by European people.
Additionally
, Japan had the
less
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
 unemployment rate;
however
, it outnumbered
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 in five years. In 1933, the average
unemployed
Correct quantifier usage
number of unemployed
show examples
 people in the
UK
 was 11, after one year it started to dramatically decline, and ended
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 only 6 in 2007.
In contrast
, the other places in Europe recorded 9;
however
, it started to substantially increase and fluctuated but remains the highest unemployed country ended to approximately 8 in 2007. Looking more at the graph, Japan recorded the lowest number of
unemplyment
Correct your spelling
unemployment
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1933 to 1999,
although
 it reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 peak of 6 in 2003 and fell to 4 in 2007.
Submitted by roycelparaiso on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words uk with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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