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Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the UK, the rest of Europe and Japan from 1993 to 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the UK, the rest of Europe and Japan from 1993 to 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#unemployment #rates #uk #rest #europe #japan #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The line graph illustrates the average rating of jobless
people
Use synonyms
 in the
UK
Use synonyms
,
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
 of Europe, and
Japan
Use synonyms
 between 1993
to
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, a
decreased
Replace the word
decrease
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
Correct article usage
the unemploymet
show examples
unemploymet
Correct your spelling
unemployment
number
Use synonyms
 rate can be seen in the
UK
Use synonyms
 and
Japan
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
leads
Verb problem
has
show examples
 the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of jobless
people
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
Japan
Use synonyms
 has the lowest.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Europe region's figure got the second spot highest;
however
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 trend managed to
climbed
Wrong verb form
climb
show examples
 and
outnumbered
Wrong verb form
outnumber
show examples
 the other countries in terms of the
number
Use synonyms
 of unemployed. In detail, the proportion of
no work
Add a hyphen
no-work
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 in the
UK
Use synonyms
 started
roughly
Change preposition
at roughly
show examples
 11 in 1993,
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 figure slowly
decline
Wrong verb form
declined
show examples
 from 1995 to 2001 and remained stable until 2005 ending at 6 in 2007.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the rest of Europe's unemployment rate managed to
climbed
Change the verb
climb
show examples
approximately
Change preposition
by approximately
show examples
 12 in 1997, and modestly fell until 2007 at about 8,
this
Linking Words
 was the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 not working in the
last
Linking Words
 year. Looking more at the graph,
Japan
Use synonyms
's unemployment rate in 1993 was only 2;
although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 proportion remained stable for four years, it peaked
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 6 in 2003 and slowly
decline
Wrong verb form
declined
show examples
 in the following years
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 4 in 2007.
Submitted by roycelparaiso on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, uk, japan, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "climbed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slowly" was used 2 times.
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