IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The line chart below shows the employment rate in four different industries in Australia from 1985 to 2015, in five-year intervals. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line chart below shows the employment rate in four different industries in Australia from 1985 to 2015, in five-year intervals. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#line #employment #rate #four #industries #australia #intervals #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line graph illustrates the figures of
employment
Use synonyms
 in four kinds of
industries
Use synonyms
 namely Technology, Healthcare, Construction ,and Retail in Australia between 1985 and 2015 in five-year intervals.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
while
Linking Words
 Technology, Healthcare, and Construction saw
increase
Add an article
an increase
show examples
 in the amount of
employment
Use synonyms
 during the whole year,
however
Linking Words
 only Retail witnessed a dramatic decline.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the most interesting notice is that all four
industries
Use synonyms
 stood between 9 to 11 the rate of
employment
Use synonyms
 in 1985 after that all three
industries
Use synonyms
 Technology, Healthcare, and Construction experienced a dramatic increase in the number of
employment
Use synonyms
 to reach a peak at 60 , 55 and 51 respectively.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it noticed that in 1995 all the four
industries
Use synonyms
 stood at the same number of
employment
Use synonyms
 between 20 to 25.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Retail saw a different trend from 1985 saw a slight rise to reach a peak at 20
employment
Use synonyms
 in 1995 followed by a significant drop to hit the lowest point at 5 in 2015.
Submitted by maha.wed on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words employment, industries with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "dramatic" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: