IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

You are looking for a part-time job at a football club. Write a letter to the manager of the football club. In your letter, introduce yourself explain what experience and special skills you have • tell him/her when you think you could start 7. You saw an advertisement

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear
sir
Capitalize word
Sir
show examples
/madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter because recently I saw your advertisement in
newspaper
Add an article
the newspaper
a newspaper
show examples
 about hiring
employ
Replace the word
employees
show examples
 for
football
Add an article
the football
a football
show examples
 club. My name is
shital
Change the capitalization
Shital
show examples
.and recently I
complete
Wrong verb form
completed
show examples
 my
postgraduatation
Correct your spelling
postgraduation
 studies.
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
 now
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
start
Wrong verb form
am starting
show examples
 my
Ielts
Correct your spelling
IELTS
show examples
 class for my bright future.
As well as
Linking Words
 I wish to start
part-time
Add an article
a part-time
the part-time
show examples
 job in your football club as a managing director. My
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 subject is B.A and I am very keen
about
Change preposition
on
show examples
 management.
Along with
Linking Words
last
Linking Words
year
Add a comma
year,
show examples
 I
am participate
Change the verb form
am participating
show examples
 in internships
of
Change preposition
at
show examples
 my college. And managing
company
Correct article usage
the company
show examples
.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 I have an experience about managing. My postgraduate study is almost done.
Linking Words
hence
Capitalize word
Hence
show examples
,I
have been starting
Wrong verb form
will start
show examples
 my work
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
shortly. I hope you are hiring me as a manager director.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 you can get any information about
be
Correct your spelling
me
show examples
 you can call me. Yours Sincerely, Shital Patel.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to introduce yourself more clearly at the beginning of the letter and avoid abbreviations like "B.A." without explaining them.
coherence and cohesion
Try to maintain a logical flow between paragraphs and use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
Divide the key components of your message into clear paragraphs and ensure each paragraph centers around one main idea.
task achievement
Your intent to apply for the job and confidence in your skills are clear.
coherence and cohesion
You have included a clear introduction and a conclusion in the letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: