IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many university students seek to acquire minor
subjects
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of their main course.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 College students think that it is essential to invest all their
time
Use synonyms
 and effort
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 studying for a particular
subject
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will examine both perspectives and will provide my points of view.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, university learners mostly distribute their
time
Use synonyms
 on various
subjects
Use synonyms
 rather than their main
subject
Use synonyms
, because they think their major
subject
Use synonyms
 is too easy to study.
First,
Linking Words
they complete their other
subjects
Use synonyms
 and in the
end
Add a comma
end,
show examples
 they study
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their major
subject
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, in an institute named North South University, pupils often choose the easiest course for them as a major
subject
Use synonyms
 and
entire
Correct article usage
the entire
show examples
 semester they don't focus on their main
subject
Use synonyms
, that's why they usually spend a lot of
time
Use synonyms
 studying other
subjects
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, college pupils who
were
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 dedicated
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
 aim or profession,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
choose a particular strong major
subject
Use synonyms
 for themselves and give their all effort to improve their knowledge in one particular
subject
Use synonyms
 rather than other
subjects
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, many learners choose a valuable skill as a major
subject
Use synonyms
 which could be web development, in web development there is a variety of skills students
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 to know, so they decide to stick with that particular
subject
Use synonyms
 and spend a lot of
time
Use synonyms
 on it which commonly lead them to their success. In conclusion, those who find
ease
Correct your spelling
it easier
show examples
 to study other
subjects
Use synonyms
 than their main
subject
Use synonyms
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
they choose
simple
Add an article
a simple
the simple
show examples
subject
Use synonyms
 for their whole semester. When, people
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
select one particular solid
subject
Use synonyms
 for their entire course
Linking Words
due to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
they are likely to focus on their ambition and career which is related to their major
subject
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by AL NURE FOYZUR REZA SUPRIO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Provide more detailed examples to support your points. The examples should be specific and directly related to the topic to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
While the essay is mostly clear, consider expanding your ideas further to address every aspect of the prompt more thoroughly. This will give your arguments more depth.
coherence cohesion
Enhance logical structure by ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. This will make your argument flow better and be easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a solid framework for your argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses both viewpoints as asked in the prompt, demonstrating a complete response to the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
Look at other essays: