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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart shows the percentage of women and men in one Asian country who passed when they took their driving test between 1980 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart shows the percentage of women and men in one Asian country who passed when they took their driving test between 1980 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The supplied chart depicts the number of female and male
idividuals
Correct your spelling
individuals
 in an Asian country who
succeded
Correct your spelling
succeeded
show examples
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
 driving
test
Use synonyms
 from 1980 to 2010. Generally speaking,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 more
women
Use synonyms
 passed the
test
Use synonyms
, regardless of the year, than men. The former group achieved the highest percentage,
while
Linking Words
 the latter achieved the lowest. In 1980, a little under 50% of the
women
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 took part in the driving
test
Use synonyms
 passed, with a slight raise in the next 10 years to just over a half. It is worth mentioning that a substantial increase can be noticed in both groups in 2000. The percentage of
women
Use synonyms
 rose from approximately 50% to about 68% which is the highest value in the graph,
while
Linking Words
 the information regarding men shows an increase from nearly 40% to just under 50% in the same year.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the percentage of
women
Use synonyms
 who finished their
test
Use synonyms
 with a satisfactory result decreased mildly to about 65% in 2010,
whereas
Linking Words
 the data concerning men remained unchanged
to
Change preposition
until
show examples
 the end of the timeframe.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words test, women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Percentage
  • Pass rate
  • Driving test
  • Trend
  • Increase
  • Decrease
  • Milestone
  • Comparison
  • Significant difference
  • Broad social changes
  • Policy changes
  • Surpass
  • Reflect
  • Implications
  • Disparity
  • Overall trends
  • Summarize
  • Statistical data
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